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Restless.

Restless is the mind when hungry.
Waiting for its chance,
To devour the knowledge of time.
Dining on the flesh of the gifted.
Drinking from the cup of enlightenment.
Fearsome is the mind when angry,
Gnawing at the bone it was thrown,
Gorging on the forbidden fruit of comprehension.
Feed the mind when hungry.
Fuel it, Ignite it,
Leave it.

Sated.

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • leander gold member
    March 27

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    This is quite short what you have here, but I like short poetry - especially when they bring quite an impact to the reader and make them think a little bit around the words.

    Not sure about the second time you used the sentence 'Restless is the mind when hungry', but that's probably just a personal opinion

    thank you for entering - I wish you the best of luck!
    Leander

  • Nasci Draco Sanguis silver member
    March 26

    Edit | Reply
    A hungry mind is indeed restless, always craving. I really like that reference it spoke to me. A good piece you've done here

  • Celticmoon gold member
    March 13

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    Your words speak of much here however you might want to try replacing some of the commas with a complete stop. As it stands now it's much like a run on sentence and makes it a tad difficult to make the correct impact on the reader as to not knowing exactly if any one line should stand against the rest. I think reworking the punctuation a bit and the impact of this piece with become mouch more strong. Over all, as this piece stands, it does make one think a bit and does send a good message.
    Thank you for entering!
    Best of luck to you!


    Blessing
    Bel

    • mystic-angel
      March 13
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for the advice, I see what you mean and will make changes accordingly. I do tend to overuse comma's and will try to do so less now. Thanks again.

  • Kindredblood
    August 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    powerful poem deep dark, reminds me of losing snippets of sanity to an unknown sorce, this poem reaches out to the reader, make me want to read it again, drawn to your lines, that create such and intense images, like a dream that you can not awaken from, awesome poem.


  • captain howdy
    August 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    "Gnawing at the bone it was thrown,
    Gorging on the forbidden fruit of comprehension,"

    ooo...powerful lines! Me likey!

1 - 6 of 6