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1001 Nights of Solitude

I am sitting on my bed.
Alone and sad, once again.
So much sorrow in my head.

Trying to ban the sadness
by writing it all down.
It won't end my madness.

I now see the picture
of a beautiful girl
who had brought me the cure.

Her presence brought me joy.
I obeyed her commands
but I was just a nice toy.

To the next level,
I want, instead of
my face in the gravel.

To go beyond friendships
is all I really want.
To touch those pretty lips.

I cry a thousand tears.
They taste salt and bitter.
Dreams show my greatest fear.

To be alone, no one
to give me some support
when my heart weighs a ton.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 18 of 18

  • LadyDementia gold member
    January 19, 2008
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    Sad poem, but nicely done. Best of luck in the contest with it


  • wakingdevil
    January 19, 2008

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    Not a bad write, however I felt that the rhymes were forced and u cd hv expressed urself more freely with a proper syntax.Thx for entering


  • O.o
    January 9, 2008

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    tHIS HAS SO MUCH MEANING i CAN SEE THE THOUGHT AND DEDICATION IN IT Well done Thanks for entering


  • Mallig gold member
    December 28, 2007
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    This is very sad and poignant, well done.
    Congratulations on all the trophies and good luck!


  • RedwingSpirit silver member
    December 28, 2007

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    DutchPunk Excellently written Congratulations on the Gold Trophy Thank you for entering my contest and I wish you the best of luck


  • Bas
    November 1, 2007

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    when i read this it made me think of myself when i was a teenager thinking of that special girl and not having the courage to go and try to talk with her and get to know her , thanks for sharing this with me


  • leslielovesthomas
    October 23, 2007
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    i know how you feel! great work and good luck!

    leslie


  • Nam
    October 23, 2007

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    It's a nice poem, I thought it could have been tightened up a bit, perhaps even shortened. But, just my opinion. As stated: a nice poem that you have written here.


  • RedwingSpirit silver member
    October 21, 2007
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    Very good rhyme scheme congrats onthe trophies already won and good luck in this contest it will be a hard one there's a lot of entries and many talented writers


  • Beating gold member
    October 21, 2007

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    very well written this is indeed. Loneliness is something that seems to weigh on a lot of us and it sucks. I definitely know the feeling. I like how you got that out with your simple wording. Great job!


  • SugarCandyKittyKat
    October 8, 2007
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    Wow,tell me about it,I don't like being lonely either....you truly tell it as it is...


  • faxi0niztah
    October 2, 2007
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    its really a great poem for me...and i relating with it...g0 bhabyboy..kip it up


  • Naridill
    September 26, 2007

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    Very intriguing. A nice concept with beautiful phrasing and interesting word play. Nicely penned.

    Much luck

  • Starz of Heaven gold member
    September 3, 2007
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    This is a very good write I can relate to the feelings of being alone.It does hurt when you think those that shoule be there for you are not. Thanks for sharing and if you would put your Ap name in your Authors notes I would appericate it.Thank you.Best wishes


  • Kimojuno
    September 2, 2007

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    Quite an emotional write-you state you want to go 'beyond friendship' and then state that you are alone and have no one. The problem I have with this is that you seem to assume that you need to be in a relationship beyond friendship to not be alone, but rather friendship is how relationships start and quite frankly friendships can be quite more enjoyable then relationships then involve more then friendship.

    This isn't to say this isn't a wonderful poem, because it is, however I just wanted to state that not every relationship has to be taken "to the next level" as it were. And no I am not saying sex is "taking it to the next level" because being friends is a good place to start before actually becoming boyfriend/girlfriend; why? Because if you are friends first it will probably a) last longer and be a relationship where you can speak to one another about anything and everything-which unfortunately is rare in many relationships due to them not knowing one another as friends do and would.


  • Dreams27
    August 16, 2007

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    a well expressed piece. definitely can see your emotion coming through. thanks for entering, take care, sam (Dreams27) xxxx


  • Abv. 01101001
    August 14, 2007

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    Normally, I hate lonely, sad poems. It just makes me feel sad and lonely. So I looked at it, and clicked the back button. But still, I felt the need to continue reading. I guess when i skimmed over it there was something that caught my attention. So I read it despite my feelings twards this type... And it turned out to be one of the most greatest that I have ever read. Every emotion that I could ever think of is right here on this page. It takes someone of talent to sew in the emotions that way. Very good. Great.

1 - 18 of 18