What occurs throughout the night skies
as our tangible bodies lay dormant,
hibernating within ourselves,
waiting for the night sky to dissolve into light?
Those souls that, themselves, lay dormant all day
are finally set free when the sun makes its gradual descent,
and they escape their confines to play and spread
like cosmic dust throughout the universe.
Our essences make their ascent silently to the stars,
as crystalline as hydrogen,
and play amongst the constellations,
possibly playing hide and seek
behind the various terrestrial bodies
or behind the dunes that dot the landscapes of planets
or riding around on top of the meteroids
that pass through the void on their own elliptic journey,
happy to carry the happy, playful children.
As the time eases itself by,
they continue their frolic amongst the continuum
like little children on a clear summer day
underneath the sun and stars
and the watchful eye of Luna,
who soundlessly peers over all of the children with a smile,
for they bring delight to all that see.
However, all things must end,
and as Aurora shows her bright face on the horizon,
Luna slowly shrinks away in the gray Earth sky.
Aurora's presence is explosive, like a super nova,
and those playful, young essences know that there time has ended.
They make their descent back down to Earth,
and wait patiently for nighttime to come.
They want to play again.
Author notes
Inspiration: IndividualEleven's contest. Space-themed. I used 11 words from the word bank.
This probably won't win the contest, but I just really wanted to write it. I really got to keep my creative juices flowing.
I really love poems about sleep and dream-like states because it's such a mystical and magical (mystery tour!) time of the day. It's probably one of my favorite times (when it comes anyway). I'm really not sure where this poem came from. I was just looking at the word bank words and I suddenly thought of souls rising to outer space, almost like our inner children escaping to play in the infinite expanse that is our universe. THat's basically the poem.
Comments are greatly appreciated. Thanks!
~modernxtimes
A contest entry
- Round one of four by Fire Opal, grannyeri, jess09stevenson, x Empathic Rose x, and IndividualEleven. by IndividualEleven.
800 points, ended September 8, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia by peaceandpenguins.
729 points, ended April 21, 2008, 7 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Great Poem!
It took me two read throughs to understand what your poem was about, but once I got it, I really loved it. I like your choice of words and the visuals it gave me, although there are some places where you could have used a different word instead. For example, you use descent twice. All in all, it is a truly beautiful poem and I am glad you entered it into my contest.
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you used a lot of big words here... or something. i don't know... my brain just had a tough time following it... strang... I'll have to come back to this one on a later date... unless of course I forget, in which case, I wont come back to it but it looks pretty! lol
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this is very good, flow, stayed on theme, wordbank used well, clever too, and i give creativity a 10 out of 10, as well as lasting impact!!! thanks for entering - IndividualEleven.
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"What occurs throughout the night skies
as our tangible bodies lay dormant,
hibernating within ourselves,"
This is a fantastic beginning! I was propelled to the end.
Thankyou for your authors notes. I like to know exactly what the author was thinking when they wrote their poems. It gives me an idea of how they feel towards their poems as well as my response. and I must say this is a great piece on the basis that It has good description and depth and meaning.
thankyou and good luck
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cool poem
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you like good music i can see. I like this poem. Our play is different during the day? if at all play? can we prevent the Night.? in the middle of the day philosophical
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Interesting take on the contest theme - something a bit different and unique. Good use of word bank list words - thanks for entering.
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