Prayers in Heaven Above

Yesterday, I died alone, with whiskey at my side,
This morning I approached the pearly gates, and they let me in with pride.

Now, Lord, I've lived a good life, done nobody any harm,
I lived my life by the good book,
and on Sundays, knelt and prayed.

By no means, have I been a saint, I've enjoyed some certain pleasures,
and old habits die hard, you must know yourself,
so I've been missing some of my greatest treasures...

God, let me ask...

Why? Why do you do this to me?
This place is so sterile, nectar comes out when I pee!
I can't find the booze, and the smokes are all gone!
The girls are all chaste and my hand just won't grip.
Oh God, why do this to me?

I'm not one to complain about your grandiose plans,
you've always treated me well, and I've enjoyed my life so,
but just a beer wouldn't kill me,
I mean -- I'm already dead!

A cigarette for my nerves, it's kinda shiny up here,
Marijuana's all natural, it grows in the dirt!
Couldja call me a hooker? I'm horny as hell!
Come on, God what's your vendetta 'gainst me?

Even in Church, there was a little bit o' wine,
so up here, can't I beg a little of the same?
A small sip of vodka to help me to sleep?

Oh, God why do you wish me so ill?

Lord, Heaven is hell, and I need a release!
What can I do to get transferred,
I'm already deceased!

Oh, God why did you do this to me?



Fuck it. Someone around here has gotta have a god-damn pipe.