The quill is an amorous
vixen, loving is she to all
who touch her, spilling those
necessities of creativity within
many a mans bed, for that is
where her children sleep, so it
must be her place of dwelling.
her workings are convuluted, strained,
miconstreud, unweildly is the only way
to describe her scriptures in any
form, one cannot dare speak an exact
one way of which to love her, or take a
stance upon her deeds, she is amorphous,
a truely impervious dawn, ever sought,
but wrought to writhe and twist mans mind.
Author notes
mans is not a man, but mankind in general.
option 10
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
-
This is nice
I like how you started it out man... you have a creative way of displaying very truthful an relivant thoughts. The word usage is also good i need to expand on my vocab lol.
-
very nice....
I really like the way you can string together words into amorous perfection.
-
Convoluted, Misconstrued, unwieldy, truly
Very well structured, wonderful opening lines, gave me something to step right into! I was surprised by the shift in mood, the soft and curious- darkened. I like it; however I’m saddened as well. The first stanza has such a luminous lilt about it that I wanted it to continue using the same language. -
Well, let me say you did an excellent job following ALL the option rules. You really made me think in an alluring and articulate way in parallel to your word choices and sense of descrition. The flow was a gratifying 9 out of ten for sure! I LOVE your challenging imagery. Moreso like an allusion in a way but it gave me what I wanted, which was understanding through complex imagery and description. I personally wouldn't do with the periods and watch where you place your commas. Believe it or not that can either enhance or deteriorate effectiveness of the poem. Everything else is great but your title (though it fits well with your poem) it does not present a strong enough statement and introduction to match your excellent poem itself. Other than that, EXCELLENT job! I enjoyed this very much! Good luck in the contest!
-
ehh sorry didn't mean to erm.. have your other people not like me.
so i'm not gonna critique other poems, haha just letting you know. -
I really like the personification and descriptions. This was a truly awesome way to describe a woman and creativity in general. As per always you amaze me wit your talent. There are a few spelling errors as well, a couple I would have to check on for sure before i bothered with corrections...but lemme know if u want me to tell you. Other than that beautiful piece as always.
-
This is just a fabulous desciption of the fickle muse
and is cholk full of wonderful imagery. I have to respectfully disagree with the comment below, but I love your line breaks and word placements, which have obviously taken a great deal of thought and careful consideration, and are highly effective. Best of luck in the contest with this marvelous poem.
David Michaels
-
Well, I think you got option 10 down, might wanna put it in your authors notes though, he checks.
Okay I'm gonna try and critique this;
so some of the words I don't understand, such as amorous, but it sounds good anyways and it lets me imagine. One thing I'm not sure why almost all poets do is something like this
"where her children sleep, so it
must be her place of dwelling."
I always thought it would be better to end a line where you put the commas, that would be more natural wouldn't it?
I'm not sure though, I guess it is personal prefrence.
I mean it doesn't sound bad at all, just I'm not sure. Sorry this is my lame critiquing (I most likely spelled that wrong).
I do like how much this poem does make you think though, it is really alluring in a way.
Adding your comment:
1 - 8 of 8
