An oak barreling into the sky,
a blue and purple mosaic, splashed
with a tinge of red and life;
he adoringly imbibes the ambrosial
syrup, that light bent by Gaias grand
constructs; our succor sanity placated
by her sweet and heady fervent breaths, as
she makes love with the ether, exuding a grand
passion which can subdue our conscious, to a
mere reverie of reality without she so deftly entwined.
To mask her doings behind a veil of innumerable passion.
her orphaned child humanity, has not an
idea of her omnipresence, ever idle in
idyllic fields, wading in the waters we swim,
combing our hair as a mother would with wind;
kisses of rain that renew our faith in times
of tumult and despair, torrents to toss terror
beneath the surf, to wash away and start anew;
fires to ignite and astound the imagination,
earthquakes to punish and remind we are but man,
tornado's to rekindle the faith in her power,
as "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned."
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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very nice
Yeah, I think you capture the real beauty and destructive force of nature! For me nature is never more alluring than during thunder storms... and yes, man knows not what he does...
"hell hath no fury like a woman scorned."
very nice line to end on...
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Thanks for the read, I'll be over to read another of yours soon as time avails it
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thought provoking...
This reminds me of how important it is to protect our environment. We've only got one planet, so we need to take care of it. It's as if you have written Mother Earth as the "woman scorned." Basically, it tells me that she'll be good to us, as long as we pay her the same respects. I do believe that global warming is a very significant threat to our home, so if we choose to ignore her, "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned."
Your keen eye for vivid imagery is truly inspirational to me.
An oak barreling into the sky,
a blue and purple mosaic, splashed
with a tinge of red and life;
he adoringly imbibes the ambrosial
syrup, that light bent by Gaias grand
constructs; our succor sanity placated
by her sweet and heady fervent breaths, as
she makes love with the ether, exuding a grand
passion which can subdue our conscious, to a
mere reverie of reality without she so deftly entwined.
To mask her doings behind a veil of innumerable passion.
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A fantastic piece of poetry sean. One of my favorites of yours for sure. Just a tremendous poem that was a pure pleasure to read for a myriad of reasons. Keep up the wonderful works.
David
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Spiff! Romanticism at its peak, twisting into a little bit something expected at the end.
Each line builds well into the next to create depth of suspense. There's a wanting to know what comes next.
favorite line: "her orphaned child humanity"
A punctuation thought: taking the period off of entwined.
I was thrown off by the word tornado(es), I don't think it has the gravity as the others... I'm stuck on what could replace it.
Something that works but can be picked out aesthetically, Gaias "grand"
("grand" passion)
(innumerable passion)
I don't know if it'd work but I wonder what would happen if you drew out the "fires, earthquakes, and tornadoes" lines. It seems like something is only being scratched there. Or perhaps, taking the idea of what they lead to and put them into something else. -
This was stunningly beautiful, seanny. I loved every word of it. The only thing I would change is "Tornado's" to "tornadoes" . I really enjoyed this piece. If i am not mistaken your true love is in mother earth and not in any woman..
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The only thing I could find wrong is I think in line 7 it is meant heavy, and in line 8 other, could be wrong though.
But, onto the good things, this poem was just filled with imagery and alliterations (that don't seemed forced like some other poets' do), and the last line is my favorite, it ties up the poem so well and just leaves you with the feeling that was a poem I'm really glad I read. Plus the last whole verse was perfect in content and everything.
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thanks :-)
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