I.
Just an ordinary person,
Living an ordinary life,
Having simple wishes,
simple hopes, simple cravings.
Just know how to achieve,
the needs, the wants, the wishes,
I'm just average.
II.
To step out of the normal tracks,
To find my true self,
That guessing who I really am,
Will be a thing of the past.
I hold a pen and a piece of paper,
Letting my hand write everything,
To savor the gift I've always been hiding.
III.
It came to my senses,
That it completes me,
So now I write my heart out,
I cry, I laugh, I smile,
I frown, I rejoice and die,
Then live another day,
-same thing, the same life,
with my pen and paper,
as my hands of time.
IV.
Never in my life do I learn to be contented,
Because when I learn to be humane,
You're there,
putting the ME together with this piece of paper
and a writing pen.
V.
The pretentious me started to appear,
hiding the Me, the real me,
that I don't want the people to see...
Why?
Because I find myself,
not the type to be loved,
not the type to befriend,
not the type to be with.
VI.
Questions started to ring in my mind,
Never ending, Never faltering.
I started to have friends,
I learned how to love,
How?
The pretentious me just knew how to do it.
VII.
Though I have lots of them,
Those questions still surfaced,
thoughts inside my head,
never giving me peace...
Do I know how to LOVE?
-Now I started to ask...
Do I know how to CARE?
-I can't help but to write this still
Do I still know the REAL ME?
-unwavering...
VIII.
I'm in a state of angst,
perpetual agony, infinite rage...
With whom?
With myself? Why?
Because I can't feel everything
Everything that keeps a person ALIVE.
-Do feelings keep you alive?
NO!
Fear, Rage, Somber, those are feelings,
-Yes, but...
Those are the ones that keep you breathing.
IX.
Questions started to fill my head again,
Those are the same questions
That seem to be never ending,
and are unfortunately, questions I can't answer
WHY?
-Why are you like that?
-Why do you feel like that?
-Why are they happy, and why I'm not?
-WHY?
I just don't know,
I'd rather have my head off, rather answering these questions.
X.
Do you really LOVE?
Do you really CARE?
-flooded with thoughts
-no air to breathe
-everything seems to be
-ENDLESS SUFFERINGS.
Author notes
I hate myself
A contest entry
- Fire and Ice by Salig.
455 points, ended July 27, 2008, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Who are you? by zammy.
700 points, ended October 14, 2008, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
Just an ordinary person,
Living an ordinary life,
I feel your sentiments with this
I am just an ordinary person too
stepping out from the mediocre
is quite an ambition for me
mostly esp doing it by myself
Salamat dito
-
Well first and foremost, this piece needs quite a bit of editing. It is very much what I am looking for. It speaks of charachter, of self-doubt, of angst, of pain, of experiences and thoughts that shape you, and basically, of how you see yourself. I also like the way you've divided the stanzas - it feels like different stages of your life, or thoughts. However, it is very difficult to appreciate your writing when I'm constantly picking out grammatical and spelling errors. Why not look through it and edit it a bit, and it will read much better and won't obstruct the flow. If you are unsure what errors I'm talking about, please don't hesitate to message me with the title of your poem, and I'll go into detail. But I really do like this piece and thank you for entering.
-
Highly conceptualized and intelligently written. However, your AN, 'I hate myself', just takes that all away and makes me doubt everything I just read! Clearly you have the talent to express yourself eloquently...why make such a juvenile and surly comment and ruin it??
-
I became lost in your work...to the point where I wondered which words were mine and which were yours. I did notice a few errors in spelling and grammar...and I would certainly suggest fixing those. Overall, I loved it. Great work and good luck.
~Praise~
-
Wow I love this piece...and I can truly relate to all of the emotions relayed within this poem. It is sad and terrible at the same time, and i truly do wonder how many people feel as though they are wearing a mask covering up their true selves. Nevertheless don't loes hope for eventually you will 'find' yourself and become more contented. Your first line should probably say 'an' instead of 'and' other than that a very powerful piece and your last stanza especially was quite strong. A great ending. Keep up the great writing!
-
This poem was wonderful. I also think I have a pretentious self that is able to get along well with other people. While naturally I'm not very social. I have to ask myself whether to try to be a person who is more social at the cost of being a good writer.
Adding your comment:
1 - 6 of 6
