How long has it been since you last held me?
I can't even remember the warmth of your touch.
That touch that use to give me that funny feeling inside.
I long to be able to have you hold me again.
How long has it been since you last kissed me and meant it?
I can't even remember the warmth of your kisses.
Those kisses that use to give me butterflies.
I long to be able to feel those butterflies again.
How long has it been since you last told me you love me and meant it?
I can't even remember the warm feeling I got hearing those words.
Those words that use to put me to sleep every night.
I long to be able to sleep like that again.
How long has it been?
Too long.
A contest entry
- Pre-Write Appreciation Day 2007 by Kimojuno.
1000 points, ended September 14, 2007, 100 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I am Passionate About... by Living-Out-Loud.
520 points, ended October 16, 2007, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
yeah...kinda just came to me sitting with dennis at work being bored...lol
Comments
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I like the flow. it's repetative but not in a bad way. good luck. -paint
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Firstly-the font color needs to be changed, it is really hard to look at on this background.
That touch that use to give me that funny feeling inside. <-- 'Used' might work better.
Those words that use to put me to sleep every night. <-- 'Used' would work better here as well.
This poem shows your emotions and feelings quite well, it shows that you long to be with your lover, you long to feel them again just to be accepted again. To actually be loved again.
On the other side of that it could be conceived that it is speaking of a parent, or some other person, because it doesn't actually say of whom it speaks of. I suppose it depends on who someone is thinking of at the time, but I can see it working in more then one way. Because of that it takes on a life of its own, because a poem that is able to speak more then one message shows the skill of the author, even if said author doesn't always realize it them self.
Jeff.
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