you smelled of
rosemary and jazz
something not quite
onion-y
but certainly cried
and dried with such
loud cracks
your dirty derby chinaware
cheeks forced to serve
this meatloaf pain
this garlic stain
and those kitchen daddys that always leave such
a
mess
and i know it was just spaghetti
saw it roll like small breasts beneath your fingers
dead meat but softened by heat
and the way you took it so
seriously
the long noodles
silverware
&
dying lonely
i am
only
a man
of sauce
you say like water
before it starts to burn
and turn to beer and scooping
the nights
the need
and the red, red garnishing
here
that plate’s
all
yours
and yet
the dessert tasted of operas
sugar songs with a james dean
aftertaste
just enough for
two
and behind the smoke and vents
a glass of blues
waits
on my diced tongue
with notes
b r e a k i n g
killing the stars
so i might cement you
in small places
above my head
Author notes
for jeff...
A contest entry
- 100th Contest ....for my Favorites by MuddyKing.
10000 points, ended September 23, 2007, 23 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 28 of 28
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WELL DONE!
Truly the prettiest pup in a damn good litter... -
Wonderfully penned!
Congrats on the gold!
Well deserved
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congratulations...simply beautiful
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congrats.
m -
Congratulations sweetie; I can always expect something different from you, and always worth reading.
Golden for sure.
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well Rob a true poet can rhyme...lol...it's allowed
I've been waiting on this one, hell you knew I'd love it...didn't you...lol
well when it come to favorites, you bees the peach.
everything about your writing has influenced me, maybe it's the language, maybe the times, but you know I really don't care what it is...I just know it when I feel it....like when that little e string is bent all the way up and kissing the big E string...it's all good
as for favorite stanzas, I would actually have to break that into lines...lol
contender and then some
peace and hugs
Muddy
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ahem- attention muddy-
this smells a bit like gold...
m
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you rhymed...
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Forgive me...
Have I told you what a doll you are?
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Dang!
wish I could write like that!
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This made me hungry for more ... wonderfully done!
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Thank you.
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shitfuckshitfuckshitfuckshitshitfuck
perhaps ive never been young, but with a soul that can cough up words like this, you'll be the one who lives on forever.
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oh.
and what the fuck's up with the title? -
a glass of blues
waits with
notes on my tonge
maybe you should ditch "salty" everybody says that and it's not even that cool or meaningful.
sugar cones with a scoop of james dean's handlebar
last stanza is wonderful, and a bit urwinesque.
this is one of your best. -
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I think I used salty cause I still can't control the cliche monster inhibiting my right frontal lobe. lol
Thanks for the suggestion and the good stuff said. I've always wanted to be urwinesque.
And the title thing...yeah...talk to Muddy about that, lol. He wanted it that way.
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oh, I thought you smelled of rosemary and jizz.
not mine, but...hizz
cattle-prod, tuna-boat spunderwear.
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very cool
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[speechless]
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[humbled]
Thank you...
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After two read throughs I search for adequate words but know they are not enough,nethertheless this is something else,the naturaleness blended perfectly with the liberty of expression,it has an indefinable melding of the ordinariness with something stellar,the final stanza was picture perfect as a former god is erased and a new god becomes set in time,kudos.
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I read this and wasn't yet ready to comment so I went off and read some other stuff that i was ready to comment on and then BOOM something hit me and I said "where did I get that image from?" And I was smacked with your last stanza
great stuff. original as a beautiful hell.
Lisa
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This reminds me of an Edward Hopper painting of a darkly lit diner, with smoke rings and coffee stains and lovers meeting .. and that hushed chatter with the sporadic bursts of music from the juke box
and then there's this woman, sat alone, drinking tea- black, with a slice of lemon, smoking malbrough lites and wearing a pencil skirt and shiney black stilletoes..
it's all very film noir in your life Darcy... darkly lit secrets and lots of ambience...
stunner
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Dammit. Even your comments smack of rarified poetry.
You be the cat's pajamas, lady! -
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naked cat's in jimmiejams... yeah yeah...
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"killing the stars
so i might cement you
in small places
above my head"
You are a stupefyingly magnificent writer, Ms. Darcy. Good luck in Richard's contest, my Friend. Dammmnnn, Girl. 
Wanda
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wonderful wonderful wonderful
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Thank you...
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