So go away Jack get off my track
The Dark prairie scape that
blur's your eyes with vastness
as you walk along gumbo and grain.
Natch-rally...Jack is just some
city slicker ripper out of
his habitat. Ergo, as it has once
been said, We're all out of our
Natch Habitat, that's why we
are the way we are.
It's a long row to hoe.
Natch-rally
Natch
Author notes
Natchstucco. you said you liked it so I entered it. gumbo is sucking soil that screws with buildings and streets.
A contest entry
- this contest might get me in trouble by vacant lot.
307 points, ended October 18, 2007, 20 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Gumbo was actually Dumbo's hick brother.
One nit to pick... no apostrophe in blur's -
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oyay, this is an old one, how did u come to read it?
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I like it. "Jack is just some
city slicker ripper out of
his habitat. And as it has once"
good write and really good imagery. I think the flow could maybe be improved but its how you like it. anyway good write!
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thanx for that... I looked it over and did some editing. flows a little better for me ast least now.
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Humm... quite intriguing piece touching the scenario of the life and making it to understand by the sketches of the character ..I love this piece..your immagery is strongly stating the poetic reference about the concept..thanks for sharing it....
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nice
The city slicker - away from the rat race and the cage that the life builds. I like it, unless I for one get to go natch.. it drives me potty
nice write
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"Jack is just some
city slicker ripper out of
his habitat. And as it has once
been said, We're all out of our
Natch Habitat" I think it's safe to say that this is my favorite part though i must say i normally dont care for poetry done in this fashion -
This is such a different write. I really dont know what it is about but it sounds great anyway. I loved the line "Its a long row to hoe". That was great.
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haha you entered. Well thanks and good luck!
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Gumbo? Is that slang for something that'll make me look like a moron for not knowing? Or do you really mean gumbo? lol, sorry I honestly like this and if you see a contest come up soon (I'm ten points away) you'd have a good chance of winning. Not that I'm choosing favorites. Is that against the rules? I'm always breaking some weird rule on here. Honestly, beautiful (and I only say that when I really mean it)
*clap* *clap* *clap* (dont ask) -
This has a nice feel to it, reminds me of the wanderers that ride the rail for some reason. Nice work.
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