Looking out over the sunset
A day is ending
The last day of an era
My life's path bending
A new way, a new turn
I'm taking those steps tonight
The sunset marks the end of my childhood
The beginning of a new fight
As the sun disappears
I get up from my seat
Ready to begin
A new future to greet
Author notes
option 1
picture prompt, a sunset scene
41
A contest entry
- Alright dudes it is all here picure inspired/ word bank/ music by SeaWithYourHeart.
700 points, ended August 15, 2007, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - For Once by katie-jo.
450 points, ended September 6, 2007, 9 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pre-write Party [Why not?] by DancingRed.
300 points, ended September 26, 2007, 53 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
A very nice collection of thoughts you have here; the idea of moving on is most inspiring. However, I don't really care for end rhyme - to help rhyme flow more smoothly you might want to try keeping syllable counts the same in each line. That way line such as the childhood one won't stand out so much.
"My life's path bending" - I like that line a lot.
Thanks for entering.
DancingRed. -
I can't really pick a favorite part of this because in all of it you did a terrific job of describing sunsets and change. Awesome job!
I look forward to reading more from you very soon.
Best of luck and thanks for entering. -
Looking out over the sunset
A day is ending
The last day of an era
My life's path bending
A new way, a new turn
I'm taking those steps tonight
these two verses were my favorite the new and unique way you have captured option 1 is fantastic thankyou so much for entering
good luck
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