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drifting petals

Missing image
 

a lone blossom flutters

on whispered wings,

drifting peaceful

in watery skies

 

kissing lids

of solitary eyes,

glued shut with gum,

of stagnation

 

while serpents twist

in callous seas,

proclaiming reason

granted right

for broken promises

 

fingers tremble

liquid fears,

as broken nails and calluses

team antlike trails

on tearstained pillows

 

where shadows quiver

rarer roast of hearts in carve,

for baited hooks of flesh

feeding,

frenzied sharks in circle

 

momentary maladies of lucidity

meander shoals

of razor barnacles

 

leaching blood

to color coral

in half hued harbors of belief,

breached on reefs

 

leaving lovers damned

in salted graves,

where bloat rots float,

stuck in teeth

of starving scavengers

 

 

loss is little,

when men are monsters

 

stowing secrets carefully

in steamer trunks,

where memories collapse

under weight of oceans

 

 

and drifting petals

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

http://allpoetry.com/column/show/2337344

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Desire gold member
    August 16, 2007

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    Magnificent!!

    Love this one Sweet Soul
    and the message You have brought forward
    Thank You for sharing Your Talent

    Wonderful
    Best wishes to You in the contest
    Many blessings too
    and much love~ Desire~*~


  • Arkbear gold member
    August 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Whoa ~

    Ok Wolfy ~

     

    Here is how I saw this ~

     

    A splendid entry to say the least.....however.....

     

    .....I personally thought you drifted there for a brief moment ~

     

    I know you were really getting into your thought process,

    and that's ok.....but for a spell, you took me away from your original

    Theme and loaded this write with imagery spilling everywhere,

    and along the way, some of it got in my eyes and I got lost ~

     

    Now...don't get me wrong....I saw each line

    and how you penned it in poetic form ~

     

    But....I think there could have been just a weeeee bit more focus

    on this incredible Theme, and not so much focus on demanding we see it

    through YOUR eyes....and maybe giving us Readers a bit of slack

    and entrusted us with words of simplicity ~

     

    I can't say anything bad about this write...but I will

    say the way it was presented was a bit......scrambled ~

     

    In other words.....**too many words**

     

    Great entry though ~

     

    Best of luck to ya!

     

    Bears Score:   97.5


  • luckynsincere
    August 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I love this. It is simple. It is complex. this is why I love your poetry so very very much. ahhhh... This is one of my favs.. AGAIN!!! I like the hints of darkness... love love love your poetry. It seems to get deeper and more rounded with each piece I read!


    100.


    Mel


  • omega13
    August 13, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Sometimes I wonder the thoughts that go on inside your complex brain. Very deep and very dark.


  • Ktulu Blackwolfe silver member
    August 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is very strong, very powerful and has a dark overtone to it. I think you will do well in this round. Good luck to you.

    **Ktulu Blackwolfe**


  • Laura Lamarca gold member
    August 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Overall, this is a very good piece indeed. Your alliteration is excellent and the imagery you've painted is vivid. The second half of this is excellent, although I personally think the beginning could be much stronger. Thanks for sharing and good luck in this round. La x

1 - 6 of 6