When maples crisp and evening nips,
And thick leaves hide plump-red rose hips;
When setting sun gleams dusky-clear,
Then time draws breath, for autumn’s near.
Wild woods prepare for ice-wind whips
When maples crisp and evening nips,
Remember fondly summer’s cheer
As time draws breath, for autumn’s near.
It seems as if deep star-eyes peer
More calmly on the lake’s calm lips
When maples crisp and evening nips,
As time draws breath, for autumn’s near.
All waits in hush for first frost-tips
To sparkle on white winter’s bier
As time draws breath; for autumn’s near
When maples crisp and evening nips,
And thick leaves hide plump-red rose hips.
A contest entry
- Poetry.....Autumn by SandraMVeinot.
425 points, ended November 26, 2007, 8 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - A Quickie Contest...... Rhymning (720 points) 48 Hours Extending it a bit longer! by Heavens Child.
600 points, ended August 24, 2007, 47 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Those Green Thingys by ms-cuddles.
700 points, ended October 28, 2007, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - TEN THOUSAND POINTS OF RHYME! (now 12,000) - Part 3 Nature by cricketjeff.
1000 points, ended December 17, 2007, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Nature ~ A Beautiful View by Demington.
850 points, ended January 15, 2008, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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The rhyme scheme was a bit forced at times and your choice to repeat lines was distracting, though admirably concieved.
There is some good imagery here, but I feel that if you had written a poem specifically for this contest you would have been in a much better position to fulfill my request.
A very good write.
Blessings,
C -
A terrific poem that would have graced any contest. and within an ace of picking up a trophy.
Please keep entering the other rounds, love is already underway.
Thanks for your entry we both enjoyed reading it
Jeff and Sue
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Beautiful write your portrayed autumn well in this great use of imagery and rhyme good luck with this piece in the contest I like this line "More calmly on the lake’s calm lips : This poem also has use of a form I have seen it before but can't remember the name.
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you have portrayed some wonderful imagery here. Good luck in the contest
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This is very well written. I enjoy the fall weather most of all and this is a great tribute to it. thanks for entering and good luck. Hugs~ Cuddles
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I love autumn, it's my favorite season. I just love the changing colours. A beautiful write. Thank you for the entry in my contest.
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Fantastic, a real breath of fresh air to read a rhyming poem with perfect meter, great images too. I recognise this form but I can't remember what it's called,
excellent work,
good luck in the contest,
Floorboards.
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The way this flows is wonderful and smooth...really gets to make one almost feel like singing a little tune...just listening to it's soft undertones of gentleness....can almost hear you reading it in that form as well....
thank you for the delightful little stroll through your Autumn garden of words....
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