she was one of those rich girls
beautiful, entitled, she was one of the lucky few
she got in all the best bars
an addict looking to find that sensation
she soared on a cloud lined with silver
and above the world she smoked nuggets of memories away
she was above it all till she blew out the system that day
they found her laying on the asphault
they thought she was dead
but she was really just free.............
A contest entry
- word bank [should be easy] by the chase.
475 points, ended August 26, 2007, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
-
Wow this is pretty, i guess by the worlds standarnds she was living the high life but it reality she was slave to her own persuit of pleasure and sensation this is truly a deep piece you penned here. I really love this last line "but she was really just free............. " only through death could she find freedom. This last line reminds me of poem I wrote sometime ago, well it's some what of poem kinda of abstract in presenation please check it out and tell me what you think, i would love to get you're thought on it.
http://allpoetry.com/poem/2788538
much luv
-bt1da
-
wow!
This was really good! I especially lked the ending;they thought she was dead
but she was really just free.............
Awesome job!
-
sad take,
for freedom
I like how
you placed
each word
from the
word bank -
What a sad write - how one keeps searching for something, they know not what, but instead, end up with nothing, lost or dead. Liked the flow and the message you share in these lines - easy to read and understand the sentiments expressed here.
-
Thank you.
Adding your comment:
1 - 5 of 5
