I watch you climb the stairs
And I can feel you prickle through my arm hairs
I wish this didn’t have to happen
I wish you didn’t have to abandon
But I said id help you be free
And love has no limits it seems. Free me.
I should follow; I should hold your hand
I should watch you watch the stars
I should have not have helped you plan
I shouldn’t be at your demand
But I want you happy, do you understand?
The house is quiet and everything feels so still
Your state of mind is peaceful, I think I realise you’re ill.
Your eyes sparkle the stars from far away
I beg you to reconsider what can I do to get you to stay?
You reply “can you hear them whispering?”
No I say but you reply “I’m already disappearing”
I pull you up, I can feel your warmth, I can feel you there
You curse, spit, yell and scream “don’t touch me, don’t you dare”
I won’t follow; I won’t hold your hand,
I won’t watch you watch the stars
I regret helping you plan
I am not at you’re demand
But I do want you happy, please understand.
I stroke your head, calm those eyes of stone
You look at me, eyes full of everything I could never understand
I promised not to let you go alone.
One shot, two shot, just as we planned.
Author notes
i guess this is selfish and selfless one person is being selfish expecting the other to be with, the other is being selfless to give up such an important thing.. life.
A contest entry
- Selfishness, Selflessness by Just Paper.
650 points, ended August 14, 2007, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Hmmm, this poem had a lot of feeling, but it needs a lot of... errors corrected. There are many punctuation problems, as well as misuse of "you're" in at least one place. This isn't what I want to write about though.
The message you portrayed in this piece was deep, and I'm glad you gave it in the way you did. The emotions of both characters were a little sketchy to me, as I'm not sure what each of them wanted. The "planning" was a little foreign to me as well. I did however enjoy the chorus parts of the poem. Other than that, the poem was very much a successful write, and I think you should write to portray this idea again. It's a great idea. -
lovely poem .some times in life we have to be selfish ...its a part of life...loved the poem.
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