(Personal) The Words That Can't Be Said

I wished to write a poem
To get out how I feel
The fear, the pain, the love, the emotion
Writing makes it real

But no words could do you justice
The hope you’ve given me
Though your words cause pain deep in my heart
Helpful and kind they be

And your sweet and understanding ways
Say maybe you're not like the rest
Maybe I should try… one more time
To work through the memories and tests

But these verses only show a piece
Of who you really are
There's no way I can put to words
How you've brought me thus far

So maybe I should write my fears
Out for you to finally see
But no words can describe the emotions
Running around inside me

The fear of what you may do
and knowing you may be the last
That if you're intentions are that of others
Back may come thoughts like the past

This time I mightn’t be strong enough
To fight off the hits and the knife
And even if I am I may never move on
And find another after this strife

I'm fighting so hard not to run away
While every part of me says to go
I know I need to learn to be normal again
To choose not to would cause a new low

And to throw away what it seems ive found
Would be silly and naïve of me
I have a chance to finally be loved
Us together is what I see

But even in this I cant fully explane
The pain and the hope that I hold
I cant find a way to explain to you
The secrets you’ve never been told

So I'll have to live content to try and explane
In bits and pieces along the way
But I want you to know everytime you speak
You bring brightness to my day

I know ive never said it
I know it will be long before I do
One day ill learn not to be afraid
But I do care so deeply about you