Standing over there, like a cult
With dead blonde cells waterfalling down their backs
Smiling from ear to ear with pink paint
Over gigantic golden globes jostling for attention
But
How could she ever be a Plastic?
She is Plaster. Not gold but
So cold, so cold.
The colour of winter,
Several black boxes lie in her heart
Locked
Still
You can tell she’s bled
Everything peals, nothing heals
(It’s not right, but its okay)
For one day a wizard-prince shall come
With keys to the black boxes
Peal off the plaster
And reveal the real
A woman of crystal with a flame inside
She will burn bright and dance
Flamenco, gypsy, cha-cha…
She will never stand still, but dance, trip and laugh
Still un-Plastic
Never to be Plaster again
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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This was really good, and you used some amazing metaphors. I really enjoyed this, the second stanza is indeed my favorite.
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Very Interesting!
It was a little different, but very good! I read it twice just so that I could feel like I really understood it. (sometimes i'm a little slow). I love the part about the plaster peeling off to reveal whats inside. Nice one! -
This was a little.. weird.. Odd indeed, but don't get me wrong I liked it. You shouldn't have capitalized un-Plastic.. But that's up to you, simply my opinion there.. You did a nice job.. Not what I'm used to.. Happy endings are nice though..
Thanks for the smile.
<3
-Danneh -
Ah, interesting. Talking about a lifeless doll one day unlocking her block boxes by a prince. So I getting that this is about a girl whos just waiting for a certain man to come around and change her life from how it previously was. From bad to good. From still moving, to an endless motion, never wanting to stop. At least thats what I make of it.
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I don't quite get the plastic vs. plaster scenario, The ending is sweet. I think when editing, focus less on trying to make it rhyme, and more on the general flow. I think I am craving a larger set up for the laster and why it is so miserable and all that is assocaited with it, I think I get what you are going for, but I am not really sure why she, herself specificall, hates it. Anyway, I am curious to see whee you will take this, so keep me posted and good luck.
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