The keys resound,
Sending the glorious melody bouncing,
It reaches to me,
Like fluid fingers following, foraging;
I feel its warm extensions wrap
Around my shoulders, hard as stone.
Stone that was built on the foundation
Laid of cracked and chipped pieces
Remenants of what I used to be.
The wall was built tall,
And goes around the circumference of my jaggal heart.
Slowly, like salt in the sea of tears,
It wears and begins to tear...
Taking away, mineral by invisible mineral,
Pieces of hate, scorn, fear, and rejection.
All the elements that melded into the blocks
Forming my fort, my protection.
You, the musician,
Play, play, and play again.
The music from your device
Molds my skin, pricking the goosebumps
Raising them like small mountains across the plain.
I close my eyes, absorbing every sound,
Each clink of the ivory against its neighbor.
My body bends, squirms under your musical spell;
Responding violently to the lightest of touch.
I am the clay, you the potter:
Molding me into a new creation
That will harden,
Though not into the Berlin Wall
I had constructed.
Author notes
Just an idea I had in my head. I have always had a music complex, because it takes up a big part in my life. This also has a Phantom of the Opera feel, I think. I like this one, no matter how weird it might be.
A contest entry
- 4:44 - a n y t h i n g by the chase.
900 points, ended October 26, 2007, 45 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Looking for a critique? by Danna Hobart.
300 points, ended February 24, 2008, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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This works really well, and at the moment, I can't think of anything I would suggest changing.
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Ace
I feel the Phantom of the Opera feel. I also got chill bumps when I read this, it moved me indeed. The imagery is very beautiful and it flows quite nicely. -
its not really weird. i, on the other hand, write a lot of weird poems that come from absolutely nowhere. this actually is awesome. the music element is great-and yeah, it is a big part of your life, for the most part it IS your life right now
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Dark Eloquence. Applause is due.
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Wow Kayla! This was a magnificent piece! Really! I LOVED your first stanza. It seemed a style I have never seen but would love to adopt. I also like the fourth stanza and second verse. "Play, play, and play again". This was really effective in your poem, probably more than you anticipated. Great job! You are truly getting so much better and articulated! (Not that you weren't befor. lol
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