I have no need of Loves’ blessing.
My disdain for him is telling.
I find comfort in his archaic temple of heartbreak.
Faceted with images of lost lovers.
Recent carnage moldering in the shadows.
Robes of stinging memories to wrap myself in,
protecting me from desire.
Shielding my will to offer sacrifices for mercy.
Boasting with no cure.
I laugh in the pit of Love's discord,
while dancing with Misery in a familiar realm.
Author notes
option #4
A contest entry
- DEFIANCE by Star Shine.
650 points, ended August 13, 2007, 8 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - For the connoisseur of poetry admissions by Deindichter.
525 points, ended August 14, 2007, 5 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Creative options contest! quotes, pictures, etc.. by freestallion.
375 points, ended September 4, 2007, 7 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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thanks for sharing this with the assistant owner of just want to be heard this was a ok read keep writing dear ~ lady enthralling ~
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This is a very nice poem and I enjoyed reading it. However, I think you could definitely work on line spacing and punctuation - it would be easier to read if split into appropriate stanzas. You also do not need to have a punctuation point at the end of each line and capitalization at the beginning - these are sentence fragments, after all. But overall, nice work and keep writing!
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Nice piece!
Nice piece! well written!
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very nice line " I find comfort in his archaic temple of heartbreak faceted with images of lost lovers recent carnage moldering in the shadows" very nice i like this its real and to the point
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great! I liked the last two lines the best.
"I laugh in the pit of Love's discord,
while dancing with Misery in a familiar realm."
I don't know why, but these lines stuck out to me. Lovely.
thanks for entering.
~kit~ -
Thank you for your fine poetry a welcomed entry into the contest and best wishes.
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Robes of stinging memories to wrap myself in,
Protecting me from desire.
the line makes me think of my world, how i have wrapped my self in a solid shield not letting any too close or anything hurt me anymore.
Excellent poem very visual and powerful, so many verse made me think of my reality, just to be able to review the way i think its awesome the way your words provoke such thought, beautifully composed and a joy to read ty.
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Very nice piece...you truly show ur expressions well.
Thanks for your post,
E
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This is a very emotonal poem, obviously very personal. I find the flow very interesting, the lines are smooth flowing well into each other. But it is the images that are the strongest especially e.g. robes of stinging memories. Very mooving. Thank you very much for the entry!
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Path to nowhere.
What a sad way for a relationship to end. Time to start again and renew the pangs of lust and hunger and the yearning of touch and tenderness. Nothing happens unless you cause it to. A heartrending pitiful poem of remorse that does not need to be. Rebirth yourself.
Barry
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Thank you for your comment but this is inspiration sprung from an excerpt of a poem that I love...
A Match
If you were queen of pleasure
And I were king of pain
We'd hunt down love together
Pluck out his flying feather
And teach his feet a measure
And find his mouth a rein;
If you were queen of pleasure
And I were king of pain
by Algermon Charles Swinburne
mostly I went with always in the realm of heartbreak thanks I think I'll stay rather than try again...but that doesnt mean I have given up...thank you for interpertation of it though.
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The archaic temple of heartbreak was a very interesting image. I enjoy the fact that you take such a cliche` as heartbreak and make it an allusions of some great dwelling, almost a castle comes to mind, and I understand this is all the innerworkings of the image, but its funny to consider. I also enjoy the fact that yes, when you have friends that are together they do seem to feel the need to be the high and pious and wish you well. good images throughout, excellent word choice. Best of luck in the contest
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This is certainly a strong piece, with vivid wordplay to create your desired images. The building of a wall is a very resilient image indeed. Quite different than the usual thing one expects with a title of "Ode to Love." bravo. Thanks for the entry.
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