Something is wrong
With the sum of us
And I cannot seem to elaborate
But here goes...
How can I be
The only one without a smile
On my face
In a crowd
And you're laughing out loud
At just thought of
Being alone
(and lovin' it)
And I was wondering
Could I just be that happy
For one night
You show your pain
Like it really hurts
While I can't being
To feel mine
I struggle to keep
My head held high
While you're so filled with glee
That you put a bounce
In your step
I can even see your progress
For miles and miles
While mine
Is too small
To be seen
And you're laughing out loud
At just thought of
Being alone
(and lovin' it)
And I was wondering
Could I just be that happy
For one night
You keep yourself
Wide open
And recieve no abuse
While I'm buckled down
To my waist in sand
And recieve barages of waves
You chose not to help me
As you don't want my pain
Why can't I be happy, tonight?
And you're laughing out loud
At just thought of
Being alone
(and lovin' it)
And I was wondering
Could I just be that happy
For one night
Author notes
Based on real life, the relationship between me and one of my old companions, she was always so happy and i was always in a pit, depressed.
still in the same state as back then, but now we aren't friends i barely know her.
In a list
- Songs • next in list
- Inspired • next in list
- alphabetical #-H • next in list
- dark and depressing • next in list
A contest entry
- seven deadly sins by xBluexEyedxGirlx.
600 points, ended August 30, 2007, 16 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Oooh coool piece!
you're comparing yourself to someone confident and happy....well, in order for you to be happy is to stop comparing yourself with someone and to discover who you really are....let everyone else disappear for a while....then sit by yourself and think...where do you stand? why are you going through sorrow? maybe there r people suffering worse than you?...in order for you to be confident and happy ...and not be this way:
How can I be
The only one without a smile
On my face
In a crowd
you need to find yourself...put yourself back together...and not compare yourself with someone who is joyful and this:
While you're so filled with glee
everyone is unique, different and have their own ways..
the more you look at others and compare yourself with others the more you feel yourself short....why don't you look at yourself? You're not blind, deaf, mute or paralysed....i bet if a paralysed boy look at you, he can say "he can move, he can walk, he can jump"....so yea, you have to find what are good in your life...i am sure there r many things...don't always look at the darkness in your life...try to find the sun that shines so bright in your life...anyway, this poem is good..i always liked your style..keep this up!
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thats really sad. but shes probably not as happy as u think. u might not know all of her story.. but anyway i really liked ur poem especially when u said u could see her progress for miles and miles..coiuld you really??
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thats sad. is it someone from long ago? this seems to really capture a relationship and emotions. I really would like to know about this... if you wouldnt mind telling me.
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i find it funny that you don't remmember this piece, its the same poem that was about you, same words exactly; just a different name.
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Once you get in that pit it feels impossible to climb back out again doesnt it? This is a really good write.
I especially like the (and lovin it) part -
this is like a song
you've matured as a writer. i don't know if you know, but i could sense it as i read this.
happy as she may seem dan, we've all got our share of sorrows, some just hide it better than others.
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