Bright lights!
Loud bang!
Arg!
My head is killing me!!!
I can't feel my legs!?!
Holy fucking shit!!!!!
WTF?!?!
What's that sound?
(beep/\__ beep/\__ beep/\__ beep)
Damn!!
...I've failed...
So close!!!!
The pills?
The drinks?
The wounds?
Nothing!
I always fuck things up!
Why must I be punished?!?
(beep beep beep beep)
Get away from me!
Let me die!
You don't understand!
Life's a shitty fiery Hell!
(beepbeepbeepbeepbeep)
Yes!!!!
The time has come!
(beepbeepbeep____beep_____beep_________________________________)
Author notes
Obviously this hasn't happened to me... But I have failed at suicide several times... and the /\___ is the heart rate moniter thingy...
A contest entry
- Poems for my wall by Lauren Noir.
650 points, ended August 31, 2007, 83 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ♥Drop The Dagger And Lather The Blood On Your Hands, Romeo!♥ by On Frail Wings..
550 points, ended August 25, 2007, 44 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Mental Afflictions by azlyn.
466 points, ended September 1, 2007, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Nothing Boring by cali951.
500 points, ended December 3, 2007, 104 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Wow, um, kinda have lived this before... made me think.... Good none the less.
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This brought back.... strange times. Horrible, strange, weird times.. that I sort of miss, it brought everyone closer together. A common goal, trying to keep everyone else alive at the same time as wishing someone would just let go.
Strange. We are sometimes the biggest hypocrites
I loved it, the style and the pace and it's rare that I like writes like this. Great job. -
Wow, reading it I could just tell how fast paced it was. Then after I read all of it, I started to understand what the full meaning of it was. it's certainly rememberable.
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very dramatic, very dark and sinister. suicide one of my favorite poems to read of. thank you for posting it here.
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Yeah...that is what it is like...I went there not by my own choice or my own hand, but I remember the beep...beep...beep thing. Very vivid! best of luck to you!
Love~
Az
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wooww. i really like this!if you could send me a message with your ap name, that would be great. i want to read more of your work =] im adding this to the finalists!nice write.
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This is a really interesitng way of describing it
It was really frenzied, with a range of feeling of what it going a long
The beeps momentum was really interesing, at first I wasn't sure of the underscores and slashes, but I actually think it works, with the uppy downy and the lever of it stopping
It's really quite an interesing way of describing it
It would have been good to add a bit of emotion, but I liked the way it was described
Well done, I really liked this
Thanks for entering
And good luck
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I thought that it was a pretty good poem. My favorite parts were line eleven, line seventeen, and lines twenty- six, and twenty- seven, though I am not absolutely sure why those are my most favorite lines out of the whole poem, hmmm... Anyway, good job on this piece; you chose a good picture for the poem. I especially liked how your choice of vocabulary made the feel of the poem more realistic. Great job!!
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