Deep, deep down, dredging from below
Hope is ignited with a crowd in tow
Raw and uncensored, is a runaway bellow
Yes, hackneyed spirit—feel the warmth of yellow
A man chooses his walking stick and tosses his bow
Out of kindness, he gives it to one he doesn’t know…
Once used to support the weight he gained
From so much wisdom that he obtained
A heart so strong with healthy veins
Who ever thought giving could cure your pains?
With a sort of contagion-effect, when maintained
Have you ever felt exasperated…just plain lost?
With such a high grief-count, we all pay the cost
Emerging victorious from that sundry blame-toss
It really doesn’t matter, who’s the boss
We’re in this together but go to our graves alone
Once beautiful flesh then to bones
And visitors above bemoan
Stop, Look and Listen…here’s a lesson to learn
Each one of us will have our turn…
Reciprocate for thee—plant your own reciprocity tree
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 27 of 27
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Just Beautiful
Just to share ones heart and soul is so beautiful. Your poem here that I just read is just so thought provoking. It brought a great sense of pleasant yet humbling emotions to my heart.
Stop, Look and Listen...here's a lesson to learn
Each one of us will have our turn..
Now isn't that the truth and you taught this lesson very well through an amazing write of poetry. Thank you for sharing your gift to write poetry with me.
Many Blessings
Kelle Marie
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Your feedback here is both appreciated and comforting. Thank you very much for this read. I'm glad that it had a positive impact on you. Generosity is one thing; when it's reciprocated I think it opens the flood gates, 'urging' on our capacity to do more and more for our brothers and sisters in humanity. Thank you for taking the time to read this and share your thoughts about it with me.
AsIThink...
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Dear AIT
Yes, giving empowers. Both!
I cannot move mountains with the faith I have, but have
been moved myself by the sight of them or walking on them, or by the grin of a little baby or the cold winds of December zooming through my backyard.
Have you gone to E A Poe's house in Baltimore? Just curious!LOL
Great Poem! Good things to know, and do!
John
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(HAHAHA...just an aside: Your screen name: HILARIOUS). Thanks a lot for this great feedback. I can see what you mean too. And no, "But I did stay at a Holiday Inn a couple of years ago!" LOL... Plus, I've driven past it several times. Maybe I'll stop being lazy and drop in one day? lol.
AsIThink...
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What about just reciprocitree?
The walking stick reminded me of Moses staff
Ithink they planted it, and it grew after being a staff for forty years...
What part of maryland are you? My people homesteaded on backbone mountain in Garrett co. My GGGGrandfather Abraham...
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Hello, thanks for the read. I don't know about the ref. you mentioned (above), but it sounds interesting. I'm in Baltimore co. Thanks for your visit here. I'll go to the link shortly.
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Cultivate Compassion.
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Thanks...I agree.
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Applaud-Applaud-Applaud!
What a feast for the soul, as we all grab our soul's
and share them boldly...without expecting any reward!
You should be a teacher bold soul!
Do you know how many children need ears to understand?
a real person reaching thru...
to laugh and share the honesty of their soul!
ears/Seattle hear a powerful teacher's voice in you!
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Thanks a million. These words you use are better than mine. I was in 'that' place. As fellow writers, we just seem to 'be there' many, many times. The 'rwrite' place at the 'write' time I suppose (lol). Thank you for the thoughtfully kind words that pierce me...I'm leaking springs of gratitude.
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Okay, I am not going to lie to you, I had to read this one more than once.. It was that good..
'Who ever thought giving could cure your pains?'
Giving helps us realize we aren't alone in the need of the world. It helps us to feel wanted, and needed and in more ways than not it always comes back to us...
'With a sort of contagion-effect, when maintained'
And is most certainly contagious..
I love the ideas expressed in this piece. Wonderful Ideas that they are! Beautiful write!
'Each one of us will have our turn…'
Such a twisted thought this brings to me.. Well done.
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I'm laughing..."Such a twisted thought this brings to me.." Whatever are you up to? (don't say...lol). Otherwise, 'wowing' me seems like your forte, huh? Your comments are (inadvertantly) 'competing' with these 'writes' (lol) of mind (mine.mimes...lol). What you have said is so reassuring and comforting. Thanks for taking the time to read it.
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Love it, especially the part about 'go to our graves alone' beautiful line.
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You give excellent feedback. It moves me. Thank you for the kind words. Glad it touched you.
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Well done, brother. Excellent flow and concept. Enjoyed the direction you went with this. Write on, my man. One.
Dez
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Wow...thanks for the feeback. I apologize for missing this comment. And sometimes, good (especially sincere) comments are hard to come by. Thanks for the encouragement. Check 1 too...lol.
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Once again, nicely done. The flow of this is easy to follow, and it's never forced anywhere. And you're able to convey a strong message through your words that sort of just drifts over you. Great write.
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Hey kid, so sorry I missed this comment. Thanks a lot for the feedback. I really appreciate your honesty and well thoughtout responses. I'm glad you liked this piece. That means a lot to me.
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I really like this. You should try making poems that don't rhyme, in my opinion rhyming is a crutch. I think you would do great without it. Best of luck, continue writing!
P.S.- This is one of the best rhyming poems I've ever read.
P.S.S- If you want an example as to how you should write a non-rhyming poem, go read some of mine, if your not interested that's fine too. -
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Hey, thanks a lot. I appreciate many things in these comments of yours. For one, I thank you for reading the poem. And your feedback means a lot to me. I have written several poems that don't rhyme as well. What I have done to-date is mostly inspired by the moment. I have not had to actually search for the rhyme. I think this isn't the case for some people. Nevertheless, I have found rhyming, rhythmic and I have still been able to get across my main message. I had not known that I would be able to do this before now. Your compliments are great. I will be reading from you soon. I want to spread positive vibes and go at it in part through this poetry. Thanks for the read.
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Certain lines just jump out at me like, "feel the warmth of yellow". I thought, 'what a nice fellow'. And "Out of kindness, he gives it to one he doesn’t know…" I'm a living witness, this is for sure. His heart is giving and pure. "Who ever thought giving could cure your pains?" Many times you kept me from going insane. "We're in this together but go to our graves alone" - this line explains some good stuff to me, 'cause sometimes I feel alone. I can't write anymore because everything you write is so beautiful, meangingful, thoughtful and dear - it really does touch home.
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Thanks...
Wow, thanks for the compliments. I'm so glad to be able to touch another in such an honest way. I write because it feels right. Thoughts come to me and affect me to the extent that I feel compelled to scribe something until the fingers are raised up from the keys. And that's what I've done each time. You really honor me in ways that amaze me.
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Smoooth
love this piece! this says so much in so many words...wisewordz at that! love this line amongst many:..."Emerging victorious from that sundry blame toss"...lol...smooth! this piece says a lot to those who share and those who tend to keep things to themselves! Cool and poignant.
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Thanks...
I appreciate the feedback. This piece was important for in that I was absorbed by the moment and weighed down by the reflecting over the generosity of others towards me. Yeah, I could have went a lot of places with this. I was hoping I'd hear from you on this one especially. Thanks again, glad you loved it. 'Got another to post...maybe I'll do tomorrow (stay posted...lol).
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I LOVE THIS...
...Very meaningful and thoughtful message and I would like to, "reciprocate back to thee" a comment to relay how I feel about this write:bravo,bravo,applaud(x10)and lastly,thank you!!
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Two tips to the man in SC...
Wow, thank you. Thank you too. You responded so fast (I just posted this this afternoon). I dropped by my office and thought I should post it. I wrote it yesterday morning with a mind and heart filled with gratitude for the many times people have reached out to me. That's what was on my mind in general. I think I never heard you say, "I Love THIS..." to anything I've written yet. So, this feels exciting and different. Thanks again. This is very, very encouraging.
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