I hear a scream that cannot be heard
It seems almost absurd
I spit at her ugly face
I still can hear her calling me a nut case
I see myself stabbing her to death
Or suffucate her so she can't draw breath
I want to pay her back for the misery she caused me
She still cannot see what she has raised me to be
She lied to me my whole life
But we will be even with one stab from this knife
She caused all this by not telling me the truth
She lied to me during my youth
I never knew about the parents I never had
And she expected me to stay glad
I want to kill her for all the pain she made me feel
And the mental scars she caused that will never heal
I want her dead for all the times she said were alike
I've spent the last few years waiting to strike
And I finnaly think the time is right
I look into a face that is ghostly white
I grip the knife tighter with my hand
And i say "you could never understand"
I use all my might to push the knife into her heart
Finnaly she has made her depart
Author notes
TheShadowsOfMe
A contest entry
- Choose Your Destiny... by Re-invention.
950 points, ended May 9, 2008, 56 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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wonderful write love, your expression was clear and evil lol which i like.. please place the option in the author notes...
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oh just to let you guys know the first line i am talking about myself screaming in my head
and she is my adopted mom and i wouldn't kill her but she gets me extremley mad i usually think about swearing at her and sort of hoping she dies by the time i go to look for my real parents so then she dosent feel hurt -
well, its definately dark... i know the feeling, itll all be ok
great visuals. the first lines really hook!!! the rhyming seems kinda akward, but i dont usually do it..
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Wow..
Powerful. Twisted, heart-wrenching. So very Sad.
Angry. If these are your honest feelings, and not a portrayal, then my heart goes out to you. BUT I've hated both of my parents on more than one occasion, and I never wanted them dead. Now one is and I can't bring him back. I cannot, in theory, relate to this piece emotionally
Post Script....The "sinister" label that I was refering to in your last poem was my initial reaction
to the character. You ask for an emotional reaction in your comments. It's how I felt, but thanks for the clarification. Find some Peace. -
I can feel your anger. The rhyming scheme is okay; your flow is off, though. While this is heartbreaking, it is not very poetic. This is more a rant, or a cry of anguish. The last line is not grammatical: depart is a verb, you have used it as a noun; the word would be departure. If you want to retain the rhyme, you could try:
"Finally, I nave made her depart" (although this is also awkward).
Overall, this is okay, but could be better.
Thank you for sharing. -
its very dark and has allot of angry power. the rhyme scheme works and the flow is a little jerky but basically alright. it makes me wonder about the back story but that means you got the audience so not bad.good first ide say.hope it helped to vent.
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