Question:
Are we on this Horizon ?
T'was the night after Christmas and all thru the world
No creature was stirring, except for fatherless little girls
Bodies tossed tall in open graves, with ravenous Care,
Sites showed desolation from the Grim Reaper’s visiting there,
Scared abandoned children, hid stockpiled beneath their beds,
While visions of bullet riddled bodies, danced in their heads,
And mamma laid in her Apron, and I in my cap,
While my sister and brother lay sprawled, in their now never ending winter's nap,
When suddenly out on the burning lawn there arose such a clatter,
To scared to spring from my place of sanctuary, to see what was the matter.
To get away from the window, I dove in a flash,
For bullets tore open the shutters as torches turned my walls to Ash
The moon glimmered on the breast, of the newly bloodletted snow
Giving the hue of death being birthed, to everything dying below,
When to my surprised tear ladden eyes, in front of me did appear,
Another militia of killers walking the same tracks, as the previous night’s reindeer,
With Tanks and Planes, so horrid and so quick,
I knew that my holiday season was over and Death was imminent
More rapid than eagles, their missiles they came,
As they whistled, and shouted, and called their Jets these classic names,
"Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! on Cupid! on, Donder and Blitzen!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Kill Them! Kill Them! Kill Them All!"
Like dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they met with an obstacle, that obstacle dies,
So over every roof top is where these New Year’s jets flew,
Dropping their presents of Bombs, and Anthrax too.
And then in a my last twinkling, I heard upon the roof
The prancing and pawing of many muffled looting Hooves,
As I held my eyes closed tightly, and turned around,
The front door of my house came crashing Down
Before me! my greatest nightmares stood dressed from head to foot
With clothes tarnished of my neighbors’ blood, ashes and their soot;
A bundle of looted properties strapped and flung over their backs,
Looking like street peddlers, just opening up their backpacks.
Their eyes -- how they scowled! Through the darkness, Eerie!
Littered earth with our lives, soon became more bodies to Bury!
With trigger happy fingers drawn up like bows,
And next in the darkness came their Gunpowder light Shows
As I lay in my own redden warmth, I reach out for yesterday
And wonder why my Christmas Holiday, had to turn out this way
Now I’m not long for this life anymore and I have only just turned Ten
I wish I had more time to open up my Christmas Presents...Once Again!
As they sprang back to their Jets, to his team he gave a whistle,
And away they all flew, like the down of a thistle.
With my last dying breath, I heard death exclaim as they flew out of sight,
"T’was the night DEATH came after Christmas and For All, For-Ever!...Good-Night."
War Does Not Take Holidays
Just how close are we to this reality
Think about it!
If this made sense given our current conditions Today
Then what has the world truly become
When a children's classic can be rewritten into this
And be a more Factual & Believable representation of Today than the Original.
What have we turned into.
Peace
Holla @ Ja Boi
TX Leonard
A contest entry
- PRE-WRITES GALLORE ~!~!~! by Naridill.
800 points, ended January 31, 189 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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O.O
Holy piss...
This has to be one of the coolest poems I have ever read.
There really isn't much I can say... I'm still fumbling to even say to my friend here to read this. Wow. Just wow, okay?
-Clay
. Rewarded 4
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I was completely infatuated by your work.
Honestly, hands down. This is one of the best pieces I have ever had the opportunity to have read.
I love how you took a child's pleasant bedtime story and turned into what a family enduring a war's would be.
I'm going to Darfur soon to help victims, I truly appreciate your genius.
. Rewarded 6
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It's a very morbis (yet true) twist on the holiday story we would hear read huddled in our parents' laps. Truely, the spirit and Christmas itself has become a mangled, twisted, faux version of itself.
Back to the poem, I love the imagery in this piece, for part because it is indeed so real, even shocking to think of, that this may be, and is, some people's reality of Christmas--wartorn and death-plagued.
A Great piece all in all, and I offer my applause to you, as well as a bow.
. Rewarded 8
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Suffer the little children and it is always they who do.
All war is driven by nonesence yet many hide behind the cloak of religion. -
What? They stopped dancing in the street on Christmas (which is not their Holiday) for all the deaths caused in this country? The irony being that sooo many were not Americans!
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First Of All The subject of the poem is WAR
anywhere. Secondly this has got to be the stupidest feedback I have ever seen. Thirdly this poem reflects much of the strife which I have seen and witnessed in Africa. Next time know what you are talking about before you make comments and lastly Africa does celebrate Christmas as they do new years too but maybe you just don't know this.
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You write well
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Although slightly off topic of the poem, I'd just like to say that you are right, death does not take holidays, war or no war, death is as much as part of life as anything else.
That being said, this was a great poem... morbid and depressing... but great nonetheless. Longer poems that can catch the readers attention and keep it are definitely praise worthy. I know some people probably look at longer poems and sometimes just ignore them for this ADD plagued world we live in. And this poem kept me reading the whole way through. Our world has many horrifying realities on its horizon and this is only one of them. As optimistic as I try to be, I see a grim fate approaching the human race if things do not change. And perhaps they will but still... you can only do what you can do. Great write
The only dependable thing about the future is uncertainty.
-Chaos
. Rewarded 8
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Thanks for reading i trulyt appreciate your taking the time to read and enjoy my poem twist here
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twisted
I believe that war hurts many innocent's as well. The fact the someone can hurt another so makes me shiver, in fright. but this is a good write. It shows that not evryone is guilty in war if their on the other side something to think about. I liked how you twisted the childs tale into showing what could truly be. although it is sad nice write.
. Rewarded 6
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I truly appreciate the excellent feedback and your reading my poem. I truly appreciate your comment words back
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OUCH!
You've taken an old classic and given us a horrid twist on reality. I totally agree with your end commentary "When a children's classic can be rewritten into this
And be a more Factual & Believable representation of Today than the Original. What have we turned into.". We all like to think that we are good people, yet we (the country as a whole) condone this savage and rash behavior. Keep up the good work!!
. Rewarded 8
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Sometimes you have to put a twist to the traditional to make the point seen. thanks so much for the awesome feedback. I appreciate your taking the time to read.
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powerful
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wow bravo bravo!!!!!
that was amzing.
it so true what have we become
im sure those childeren overs sea's feel this way
and it sickning i couldnt live that way.
but anyway amazing write
. Rewarded 4
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