This olde man he played 1
He played with toilet paper on his bum
With a knick knack kitty in the sack
Give the dog a damn,
Now he's playing with Uncle Sam!
This olde man he played 2
He had foot fetishes with your shoe
With a knick knack put it in the sack
Give the cat a damn
Now he's singing to "Sam I am"
This olde man he played 3
He played with toys in a tree
With a knick knack birdy on his back
Give the bird a toy
Now he's playing with a toy soldier boy!
This olde man he played 4
He kept coming back for more
With a knick knack booty in the sack
Give the girl a doll,
Now she's waiting for you to break your fall!
This olde man he played 5
He played with stonies in a bee hive
With a knick knack paddy whack
Give the dog a bone
Now he's awaiting by the telephone!
This olde man he played 6
He kept playing hooky til he got sick
With a knick knack barf bag over his head
Give yourself a break,
Now he's scoffing down your birthday cake!
This olde man he played 7
He neared his death too much to Seven Heaven
With a knick knack party in his pack
Give yourself some sleep
Now he's dreaming in mountains deep!
This olde man he played 8
He thought entering this poem was a mistake
With a knick knack party snack
Pat yourself on the back
Now he's awaiting his own little cup cake.
This olde man he played 9
He was awaiting the train on the white line
With a knick knack paddy whack,
Put yourself under attack.
Now he's wishing he was just fine.
This olde man he played 10
He was told to stop being your friend
With a knick knack booze that you lack,
Put a "kill me" sign on your back
I think this is finally his true end!
Author notes
This Old Man 1-10 nursery Rhyme (twisted to my own twisted thoughts). (50 lines)
I used the word Olde (to make the man seem OLDER as in Golden Olde times
A contest entry
- Bee eye en gee ooooh by opaqueangel.
525 points, ended August 21, 2007, 7 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Tell me what you thought (honestly) lol
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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A really wonderful and funny entry in a delightfully twisted kind of way. Best of luck in the contest with this marvelous poem.
David Michaels
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This is so unique and funny. I just loved it. So much wonderful imagery throughout. Amazing
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totally awesome it had me cracking up throughout the piece great job well done xx
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amazing awsome
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omg i love this amazing piece of work it is absolutely awsome, good luck in the contest, i hope you are one of the finalists...oh by the way this is not the same person writing this message as the first who is the real opaqueangel, i am Nephalaneous lover, it's just too much work to log out and in and out and in...so again great write and good luck
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Oh my god I abosolutly love this piece! it is so great!
"This olde man he played 4
He kept coming back for more
With a knick knack booty in the sack
Give the girl a doll,
Now she's waiting for you to break your fall!"
This is my favorite part!
Excellent job and good luck in the contest!!!!!!!!!
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