When the Earth kissed the sky, in violent ecstacy,
Lightning flashes all around, for all the world to see,
They twist about each other, as if trying to fill a need,
joined at last together, they begin to feed,
I stand there, facinated, as they pass me by,
Until at last its over, and he rises to the sky,
The Earth mourns her loss, the heavens start to cry,
For love thats spent, and times gone by,
When the Earth kissed the sky.
A contest entry
- Your Best Prewrite: October '07 - February '08 by animated lies.
850 points, ended April 16, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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This creates elaborate imagery but I feel like the rhyme is too forced. It makes it lose its power. Perhaps it would be more beautiful as prose. Thank you for entering my contest and good luck.
animated
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I love your opening line,
this is a touching piece of poetry,
but very nicely done.
I am reading for the contest were are are to help pick a winner.
Good luck
Loveandblessings2u & yours always
Joyce
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Wonderful imagery and quite a unique view of night going into day (if I am wrong about this let me know and I will re-read).
You have a fantastic talent for this and you should never stop writing!
Keep it up;
Kimojuno (Jeff). -
Wow. I know that's a little tacky but I can't think of anything else to say. Keep writing, can't wait to read more.
Thanks for entering and good luck in the contest.
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Whoa. That was...hell, I can't find a word good enough lol! Awesome job on this dear, you really took me on a roller coaster of sensations! You are talented! Keep writing, I'll be back for more!!!
Luvs,
Cj
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Wow-beautiful poem-it captured the chaos of a storm and also the melancholy within the rain. Wonderful piece-thank you for entering!
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