Racing through me, uneven pulsations
of thoughts unknown, undiscovered
willing rightfully to let them come true.
Alone, our hearts exploding
our lips bringing winter to spring.
Somehow, our lives pausing,
our thoughts exposing themselves to each other.
Slowly, our minds reentering reality,
but so much happier now,
for they have found someone
to reveal their deepest feelings to
without uttering a single word.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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This is very, very nice. Good write.
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I know this is probably regaurding a romantic relationship but it reminded me of my best friend, as silly as that is.
Haha.
We're just really close.
It was nice though,
great vocabulary and adjectives in use here.
Good job.
Thank you for entering and good luck! < -
This poem speaks the following to me:- a love/lust relationship that grows hard and cold; then subconsciously you realise there's still a flame for the soul/subconscious to relate to rather like that of a soul mate? Hope I understand as you portray my friend. *****
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You understood everything perfectly except for the relatonship didnt grow hard and cold. Thank you for your kind words of praise!
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I love the last two lines...that feeling of being able to understand someone without necessarily speaking is something to be cherished. Lovely penning!
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"our lips bringing winter to spring"
...a great line!
your ending is so fitting too! your background colour kind of burns my eyes but it reflects the strength of your poem. your piece makes me feel happy...thanks for entering...
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Liked the lips bringing winter to spring line - but the whole poem is filled with vivid visuals and is filled with expressive sentiments- liked the title, certainly suitable for the poem. How our minds can cause the world to pause at times like this - but then resumes with the other as part of it. No words are needed at times - the senses say it all. Enjoyed this read.
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This is beautiful, the feeling of passion oozes from your pen. I see one typo in L7; "eachother" should be two words. You are fantastic!
Love,
Amera ♥
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I found this poem quite unique
My first impression is of a desire of your thoughts to become known. This is all very good. No favorite part or unfavorite part either. I find this poem very intense in the sense of needing someone to understand the deep feelings of the thoughts in the mind of the poet. The first line gets you feeling strong sensations of desire. The last line shows what the author would like to convey. I am not sure but I think I have a better title for this particular poem. You said you were looking for one.
Here it is let me know what you think of it.
"My Minds Feelings".
Overall I think this is a very good poem.
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Oh don't we all long for this wonderful sensation - so elequently put to page here! Really enjoyed reading this - will keep an attentive eye on your work in the future!
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Maria,
I am blown away by this wonderful piece that you have penned here. It sounds like a young man got into your heart and has you thinking of that four letter word called "LOVE". You created some fantastic imagery in this the whole way through. Nothing is out of place and your feelings flowed along with the work itself. I have seen you growing over these last two years that I have known you and you are a wonderful young lady. This is really one of the best pieces I have seen come from your pen. Thank you for sharing with all of us and protect your heart. Love always, Auntie Joyce xoxoxoxoxo 
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The kind of love in any part of lovemaking: still, passionate, (even lustful), that speaks no words is so hard to find. You have expressed this idea with great economy and truth. Thanks for the read.
Donald
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