Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

The Model

Missing image

The Model

The canvas caressed by the artists’ brush
I feel beauty as it begs to be born
The colours blend to a glorious flush
Labor of love like the rose and the thorn

I’m a working girl and availed for hire
I hold my pose with a floral bouquet
The stillness lends my soul to desire
as the clock hands wipe the hours away

Thoughts and desire keep my body still
Undressed, exposed to your critical eyes
I’m tempted to give myself to your will
To give you my heart and open my thighs

Yet I know you have no interest in me
I’m here for the art and critics to see

 

 

iiv

Page copy protected against web site content infringement by Copyscape

Author notes

English sonnet
All though the traditional Shakespearian sonnet is written in iambic pentameter I decided to use a variation to retain a classic flavor with elegance. I was still able to provide a volta and compose the entire poem in decasyllables.

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 45 of 45

  • Ken-Maverick
    December 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Sensual with elegants,
    I see why you chose this one as an example,
    for a beginner like me, this reads easy yet still hold it's class.
    Congrats on the Gold!!

    Ken


  • Swangrnv gold member
    December 11, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    beautiful

    very beautiful, and softly sensual..


  • Dragonheart1 gold member
    December 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Im tempted to give myself to your will...but I'm here for the art. Such feelings are hard to restrain


  • Maxboy gold member
    September 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A wonderful poem from the mistress of sonnets.

    Thank You
    Don


  • Venus25
    September 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I love the elegance you write with in this!

    A beautiful creation..

    Thanks for sharing and best of luck!

  • Eusebius
    August 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Bravo

    Excellent, with such a fine Victorian flavor! I loved it a ton! bravo... (as you suggest, perhaps, connected--by way of the collective unsconscious--to my own humble sonnet: http://allpoetry.com/poem/4349429# )


  • tulip.s
    March 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I like it


  • Never Fall in Love
    January 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Employee in love with the boss is definately not unhead of! But unheard of in poetry [or atleast I haven't seen]. I think your last two lines were the strongest to simply blow me away. Especially that last one there... Probably one day I will come on your poems, give you the appluase and say I love you - rapidly running out of different styles of praise! which is much deserved of course

    Never ♥


  • Legend silver member
    January 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Never attempted one of these beautiful poems ( feel i lack the ability ) when reading this one it only shows me that i am right in my thinking A beautiful piece that gave this reader great pleasure to read Congratulations on your award


  • Sue Cardwell gold member
    January 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I feel I must add my congratulations to Jeffs. Your entry was superb, and the more I read of your sonnets the more I want to write them.

    Well done...Sue


    • Amera gold member
      January 8, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Oh thanks Sue but I could never win one of his contests though. He likes a Limerick beat with a ¾ meter. My poetry is too formal penned with a strict syllable count or in iambic meter.


      • cricketjeff gold member
        January 8, 2008

        Edit | Reply
        This is the guy who has been knocking himself out for 40 years to write a sonnet. Yes I love Limericks, Rime royal, Sapphic Odes, Rubaiyats and three dozen other forms of poetry including various sorts of sonnet, I have even tried to start my own new form of sonnet! And no writing a triplet sonnet won't guarantee you a win...
        Also note it isn't my contest Sue and I have agreed in the end on every poem that has won a major cup, some of the HM's are personal favourites.

  • cricketjeff gold member
    January 8, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I keep doing this to you! You send us near perfect poems and don't get the shiniest cup. This is a seriously lovely piece and as the main contest wrap-up implies it was right there in the reckoning, but Sultan's poem was pitched at just about the perfect level on the sensualometer, you have to get a gold by the end, or are you saving it all up for the grand prize?


    • Amera gold member
      January 8, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      I'm not saving anything; I'm just not good enough for your contests.

  • cricketjeff gold member
    January 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Thank-you to all our prizewinners. A very good standard at the top of this contest, we are seeing many of the same names at the top of each round, it shows you are well rounded and versatile rhyming poets. Over half way now just 3 more rounds where you can enter pre-writes then the grand finale. Get your rhyming and scanning skills honed for writing us the best new rhyming poem since Methusalah was a twinkle in his mother's eye.
    Thanks again for entering
    Jeff and Sue
    PS someone else can host a series next so we can show you how it SHOULD be done!


  • michael thomas
    August 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    great work

    yea, great. the reading is so ease since your smooth meter and rhyme make it so.

    michael thomas


  • RedAquarius
    August 19, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Congrats on gold, such a beautiful poem!


  • EvilKate
    August 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Many people are unaware that some of the greatest works of art ever painted, were of prostitutes as models. A wonderful historical touch that pushed this beyond 'good' and into it's well situated gold!

    Bravisimo!!


  • ellipsist
    August 17, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    beautifully composed, my dear

    I love that ending... not typical erotica... I like that about this piece, I like the perspective that you've lent and the vice from which you spoke!


  • OctoberCrush
    August 17, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    That's incredibly beautiful.

    The ending lines really make it linger around in your head.

    Wonderful***


  • Vigorous
    August 17, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Simple and Beautiful

    A very personal experience expressed in an impersonal way.


  • PoetsAngel
    August 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is lovely, I read it on the weekend, but just didn't have time to comment, so here I am back to do this justice...mmmm now I find myself lost for words to adequately do this justice! Just brilliant, as you always do


    Cathy
    ♥♥♥♥


  • So Strange
    August 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Interesting. I'm not sure I would categorize this as erotica, but it kind of fits in that category. I thought this piece had nice flow and you described the character well.

    Nice job and keep on writing.

  • Eusebius
    August 13, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    bravo

    Very fine and very excellent, indeed! I enjoyed this poem a great deal, you have struck just the perfect tone in this sonnet! bravo.... bravo... bravo...


  • Aurielle
    August 12, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    niec work and idea...lovely write please keep wrijntg...you express very well

  • RedAquarius
    August 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Ah yes, we did go a similar route, though mine is from artists view and yours from the subject - and yours done in a sonnet of such skill that I could never match! Very elegant and classical indeed! You trumped me, but that's quite alright, it's a pleasure to learn from you!


  • forbidden-dreams
    August 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is lovely. I liked all of it and the flow was well created. I enjoyed the rhyming in it and thought it all went well together.
    Great work.


  • captain howdy
    August 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I love that you wrote what the lady was thinking, and I think this poem is well written (well...so far as I've read...all of yours are) and a great read!


  • soulfultia gold member
    August 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    An already beautiful portrait just had more life breathed into it. You penned a stunning piece here. Always the craft master you are! Lovely work as always and my pleasure to read! ~Tia


  • Hetha gold member
    August 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Awesome interpretation of this lovely picture! Your words are so apt and descriptive, but yet goes deeper into the mindset of the lady posing for it. All while delivering your greatness in perfect form and flow! Good luck in the contest!
    Love,
    Hetha


  • Swan song gold member
    August 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This has all the poetic tools as usual, but I like the wit to this poem. Sort of an unerlining humor with this that makes it stand out. Well done


  • Mairi bheag gold member
    August 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This has a wonderful lilt to it, and is beautifully crafted. Artists have used "working girls" for centuries - even as models for Madonnas.


  • PerVirtuous
    August 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    hmmmm. Just tempted? We shall have to wear the special cologne tonight!  The language appears much more modern to me than the picture, however, perhaps you were not going for a period piece. I love the accessability of the language. It is not sterile and haughty. It is warm and yielding. I like this very much and enjoyed it every time I read through. I see no weak points.

     

    Three artsy bunnies.


  • micol
    August 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    The decasyllabics work very well. They give the lines a tighter sense, the illusion of a smaller focus, perfectly appropriate to the subject...and to the remarkable prompt picture.

    Tone is equally appropriately subdued, both through the floating four-stress rhythm of most lines and the slightly more colloquial than usual (for a sonnet) diction.

    Each quatrain moves us closer to what would seem to be the climax--line 12--beginning with art and moving inexorably to desire and finally to the offer. Only to have that movement arrested and reversed in the couplet.

    Your comment about both classic flavor and elegance nicely defines the final effect of the sonnet. Again a beautiful blend of words and visual, even to the smoothness and clarity of the model's flesh as reflected in both the portrait and the sonnet.

    Excellent.


    • Amera gold member
      August 11, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Michael, thank you so much for following my work and the comment. You have no idea how much I appreciate the time you take to teach me.

      Love,
      Amera ♥


  • Desire gold member
    August 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Wow!

    Ok Form Queen
    Is there anything You are not able to do
    Powerful piece in form also message~
    Justice I perceive You have given this prompt~
    Lovely in all areas~ takes notes
    Oh Yes


    Love this!!
    Best wishes to You in the contest
    Many blessings too
    and much love~ Desire~*~


  • HaleyMary
    August 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful write. I liked the pic you chose for this piece. It made me think of trying to see more inner beauty in art. Too often these days I see a lot of skinny models in magazines and it seems true beauty in life, the beauty that can be seen in all people, no matter their size is lost in today's society. Good luck in the contest.

  • Bob Fox
    August 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Heat

    It could never be me. Lol The thought of a beauty nude in my view. I would never touch the brush. Great write


  • capricornpoet
    August 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    thoughts of a model

    I never did see it that way, how true of the artist;
    and the secret of the model , knowing she's viewed
    with all her intriquicies and contours..and colors that will attract the ones who view his work..
    An inside look at the model , quite revealing.Inspiring poetry .


    • Amera gold member
      August 11, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks so much, I love to do things a bit different.


  • JohnnyD gold member
    August 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Cubbie, very, very , very nicely done and while you are but 26, you have the Sepia heart and taste of the old world inhabiting you, a most classy write with superb choice of wording, expression and descriptive value. this deserves platinum.



    Dad


  • sunny day
    August 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Bravo!!! Bravo!!! Bravo!!!

    Encore!!! Encore!!! Encore!!! What a brilliantly penned sonnet this was and so tastefully done. The sensual feeling that flowed along with your superb rhyming left me breathless. Your elegant choice of verbiage only add to the alacrity of this piece. She is eager to respond in so many ways and yet her profession tells all through your volta. Magnificent this is and your picture fit it like a glove. You have a fire in your soul that burned white hot here. My heart beat increased with each line I read and we don't have emergency paddles here at home. I best calm down a little. LOL Thank you so much for sharing this one and best wishes in the contest. It sounds golden to me as all your work does. Love you my friend, Joyce


  • Silent Cougar Moderators member
    August 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    And art is exactly what you give us, in abundance my friend. Many a true artist would try and emulate your masterpieces, but without the model of a true mind, they will only produce fakes, similarities, dodgy reproductions. Only the true visionary will see the true art form within the works you post or share.
    So the ones with no interest for the style of art you wear on your pages, are the losers, the one to be pity'd. We, the persuers of fine art will always visit your gallery, and in time, will have collected treasures of priceless proportions.

    keep prostituting your wares and I will keep visiting.

    • Amera gold member
      August 11, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      What a beautiful comment Mike, you humble me as I know what a fine artest you are yourself.

      Love,
      Amera ♥

1 - 45 of 45