This life has been lived by
side-stepping.
I've given up on happiness
because of this [ir]rational
apathy.
A living example of these
[carcrashhearts].
I'm tired of seeing myself through
rear-view mirrors;;
everyone knows hindsight
is always 20/20[00].
Give me a reason
not to slam on the brakes
and hit reverse.
Because there's only two seconds left
before I die from this place.
Author notes
Quickie contest.
My first one.
A contest entry
- Quick One: Pay It Forward by Tangled Angle.
425 points, ended August 11, 2007, 6 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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A compact,tight write,well written.Interesting usage of punctuation that added originality.Particularly liked the first two lines,"this life has been lived by side-stepping" it's a great intro and yes we tend to cha cha slide and shimmy leading to the limbo of dancing under bar when in fact we are not moving much,a worthy trophy win.Neat.
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this kind of took me by surprise.
it was filled with regret and a dash of anger? maybe. I don't know WHAT it was exactly... but I liked it.
"I'm tired of seeing myself through
rear-view mirrors;;"
that line kicks ass. & the bit about hindsight... I can feel how sick you are of missing out on your own life or making the wrong choices. This was very well done. Congrats on gold- you deserved it. -
Lol, this hits like a car crash. But mreurgh, sadfulness
We'll get out, pea. I promise.
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Wow, this was very poignant and powerful. I absolutely love this.
-
prompt: the last breath
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