A river flows outside my room,
I bathe in it every morning,
The daffodils next to it bloom,
As dew dies for the evening.
None of the above is true,
I hear horns and wheels pass,
Trees and birds are but a few,
It's all just the traffic of Class.
The noise tells me my home,
Among other forts and caves,
Beneath a heat and dust dome,
A path this tar endlessly paves.
There is a mountain next to my bed,
A golden eagle visits me every night,
Moon herself caresses the lovely red,
Dreams beckon me to leave, I might!
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
-
Lovely
This is a lovely write Sam
I just started writing poetry , I wish I was so articulate like a lot of you here , one day I hope to write like you guys
-
Time
AS the clock moves are wejust watchinbg it orv going along for thed ride. A Choice must be made.
-
Very good
Bricks, mortar, asphalt, motor cars, a lot of noise, dust and debris have taken possession of our life. Still you can dream of the serenity of nature. Your next generation will forget to dream such dreams. So you are lucky. Good poem enjoyed very much.
-
a good poem, ah the first verse and then the second saying not true, but in your mind it exists so therefore what is truth? a good poem.
-
nice write, i like the way you have kept it simple yet endearing. Wish i could write like that.
-
Great poem, I love the way you started it, thats like everyone's ideal surroundings then going on to say you couldn't be farther from it was brilliantly done.Great diction as well here, Well done!
-
This was beautiful. I hope that you leave your life in the city, although I think you are. The rhyming worked very nicely and I've never been able to do that.
-
I have written about the call that many hear, the call as if from a mountain top, ambbitions and desires for things to be done in the world; a most precious gift and a rare blessing of insight... wonderful poetry here...PK
-
Dreamy
You managed to tell us about your longing without hitting us over the head with it. Your poem is beautiful and succinct. Very lovely indeed.
-
Wow... just wow. good switch between the beauty then the so ugly truth.
-
-
Thanks a lot
-
-
Happy here!
I have come to gather up your delightful poem and take it to Poetry Planet! Thank you very much for sharing your lovely lines with us!
-
This is beautiful! I like the way you intertwine reality with imagination--it works very well in this poem. It was a wonderful read--thank you.
-
this poem was beautiful, taking everyday life into somewhere that most people couldnt even dream of seeing
really well done and a great read -
I like this!
-
So skillfully done, dear poet!
I love the metaphor of the river. Would you please allow me to post this splendid poem on the poetry blog I run for a newspaper in California? It is called "Poetry Planet" and we gets hundreds of hits a day. You can find it at: blogcentral.thereporter.com/planet
I would use your poetry name or your real name (you choose) and of course your copyright would be on your poem.
This is a poem that we can really identify with...
-
-
Delighted! Do post! With my original name preferably, Samyuktha P.C. thanks a lot. Love ya. Sam.
-
-
.. I loved the way S1 and S4 portray the poetic side of life..taking the mundane and making it more beautiful, but how you added in S2 and S3..the honest truth of what is really around you. Such an interesting form. Loved it.
My favorite was the opening, loved the imagery of the river.
Adding your comment:
1 - 18 of 18
