Her fullness settles into
earth’s deepest cravings
like breast to infant,
filling visceral voids
to nourish body and spirit.
She soothes scorching day
with cool crashing rhythms
of damp laughter
spraying sand and stone;
to the sky--
winks in endless flirtation
even as she sews her soul’s fabric
to clothe him in misty vestures of cloud
and upon every evening’s shore
she scents the air
with her alluring perfume
calling me to know
my smallness
Author notes
In the original contest that this poem was entered it was beaten by a better sea poem by a better poet!
In a list
A contest entry
- A Party For Bel (Celticmoon) Come Help Her Celebrate Her 400th Trophy With an Under The Sea Bash!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! by Cupcrazy.
700 points, ended August 21, 2007, 11 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Nature and Imagery by Dageek2.
350 points, ended August 26, 2007, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I just love alliteration by heygoo.
900 points, ended September 14, 2007, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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I do believe you need another "l" in fullness in your first line, my Friend. Typos. Gotta love it when the keyboard misbehaves, eh? 
I would hesitate to describe anyone as being a better sea poet, though, as you did in your author's notes. From what I've seen, if the ocean had an actual voice, it would raise it in song for your homage to it, Scribe. Congratulations on your silver trophy, Sweetie. Well stated and understood, Brian. 
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oh i love it. it really paints a picture in my mind and lets me see what your writing about. i like to read poems like this and i like the very end. i have one suggestion. although this poem really doesnt need editing i just think the last line would have more of an impact to the reader if the first part where you say "her fulless" was separated like the last line. just a suggestion.
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Wow I loved The way you expressed sea scapes, That a different way of explaing it. Mother nature had something to do with it. Any way it was a delight to read your poam. wonderful fow of words.
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Mystifying and captivating. I was breathless reading it to be fully honest. My eyes were riveted to the page. And that is not a lie.
Andrew
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I like the understated alliteration. Soft as a sea foam sunset. These are my favorite lines:
"To the sky-
winks in endless flirtation
even as she sews her soul’s fabric"
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Very nice poem. I like your use of personification and how you make the see seem like a beautiful woman. Good luck in the contest!
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Another superb piece of poetry!! I love the opening image. The sea's fullness compared to the breast is beautifully potent to say the least, but the idea of the earth, with all of its deep cravings, being like an infant that suckles there is intriguing to me. It makes the earth, a powerful force on it's own, seem vulnerable and needy. I love the contrast of the deep cravings which seem almost lusty and the innocense of the babe. That phrase "filling visceral voids" (which really struck me) contrasts amazingly with the "nourishing body and spirit" as well. They are seemingly opposite, but really bring complimentary perspectives into a perfectly unified, but almost paradoxical image. (Not to mention the beautiful alliteration and the incredibly impactive emotive power of those lines.)
All of the soothing of the second image. The "s"s splash upon the reader as does the sea upon the day, the sand, the stone. I particularly liked "damp laughter." To me it did not speak of outright merriment, although the sea seemed to enjoy her interaction with the other elements. It brought her laughter, or pleasure. But the word "damp" gave a sense of slight hesitance, somehow. Very cool.
Then, I love how you turned from the refrences to the earth and the sand and the stone, to the seas flirtation and connection with the sky and the air.
This was my favorite:
To the sky-
winks in endless flirtation
even as she sews her soul’s fabric
to clothe him in misty vestures of cloud
What an incredible way to speak of the process of evaporation of the ocean: she sews her soul's fabric!! Reminds me of a poem or something. That line is so incredibly moving. It speaks of a giving of all that she has and is to clothe him in vesture of cloud, until he is adorned as he should be. And how fitting that he has been filled and can now return the mist to her through rain. I just love that whole beautiful exchange. It's so selflessly sensual.
And then there's your final appeal to the senses with her alluring scent. You have appealed to the sense of taste, sound, touch and now smell. Not to mention all of the visual imagery throughout. Masterful.
I love how you bring this immensely vivid and sensual piece back to a level of reality and understanding at the end. Observation of the sea can certainly remind us of our comparative smallness. And I love how you separated those two words off to themselves for emphasis. I also love the rhythm of "every evening's shore" and that fact that you mention that she met him with her allure EVERY evening is so beautiful.
This is a wonderful display of your powers of observation, description, and expression of emotion. I loved the feeling I got out of every word from start to finish. Congratulations again on the much deserved trophy.
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This is a real beauty! Congrats on the silver!
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this is a most lovely piece of personification I have read in a very long while. The words just breath a serene sigh throughout the body as each line proceeds to the next. Thank you! Best of luck to you!
Blessings
Bel
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Wonderful personification, excellent form and flow and outstanding imagery and emotion. great write Hugs, Bunny
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How beautiful
Love those last two words. The sea surely is so vast that it makes us realise how truly small mankind is in this world.
A wonderful read. Thanks so, much for sharing your talent
All the best with this.
Gaylene
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Wondrous personification of the sea and imagery which I can see, smell, even taste. This is so lovely.
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