hammock sways
over new mown lawn-
father sleeps
A contest entry
- Don't Do Anything I Wouldn't Do by azure85.
600 points, ended August 22, 2007, 19 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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haha,this is a nice & serene picture you've written
congrats on the trophy
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Yes I think I could do that lol
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Firstly congrats on your win ! I love hiakus . . . if thats how you spell it haha , the back grounds perfect for the piece obviously and it is a nostalgic piece for me. thanks so much for the read, best wishes in all that you do
~glass~ -
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Thank you for reading. I like haiku because my attention span is long enough to gather enough information. lol.
qt
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yep, they like to do that don't they.
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Thta was good. it really has everything a haiku or senryu needs. Gave me a nice chuckle.
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And a well deserved sleep Father is having too! This is a really good haiku, I can smell the newly mown grass, and imagine the sway of the hammock. Well done!
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I really like the image of this haiku--At least in this instance of hammock-swinging the lawn was mowed first!
Best wishes to you in the contest!
Jo -
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yeah- he mowed first- that's the miricle "aha" moment- lol
Thanks for reading and commenting.
qt
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I just love this. Creates a vision perfectly. Simple words yet so poetic.
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I like it!
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