Something felt there,
but never to be spoken of.
A feeling shared,
but too taboo for you to express.
[ I had almost forgotten; finally set free]
It was quick, but not painless.
I still see it in your eyes.
In that smile that says so much.
Your excitement betrayed you.
[ You squirm with uncomfortability at the sight of me]
Why then, did you say those things?
I guess I'll never know.
We weren't so different, you and I.
We were both afraid...
and extremely failable.
[ We both misunderstood confrontation]
It has always hurt.
I just thought that you should know.
You weren't wrong,
but it looked that way.
I just had to make it worse.
I told you how I felt,
but my description wasn't your forte.
[ My mistake was threatening]
You always had a way
to leave them wanting more.
Your gift is my curse.
After all this time,
I still want more.
Author notes
You may notice I used Past in the title. This was not an error. It was a reason to make you think of what the poem is really about.
A contest entry
- Time is Tearing me Away by thorlorn thanatos.
490 points, ended August 11, 2007, 15 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Interesting read. I like the last part,
You always had a way
to leave them wanting more.
Your gift is my curse.
After all this time,
I still want more.
Really captures the essence of it I think.
Thank you for this piece, a much appreciated entry to the contest!
Good luck
Ryan
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This is fantastic. I especially like the ending.
You always had a way
to leave them wanting more.
Your gift is my curse.
After all this time,
I still want more.
Its like you dont know whether to love them or hate them. I like the style of writing you have used with the parenthesis as well.
Awesome write.
Sarah
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wow
Powerful write. You still want her..
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I really don't know anymore. I just know there is an undenialable connection. That may be all it ever will be.
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this piece is truly fascinating, I feel you man. good stuff
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Thank You
In hindsight, I was afraid the emotion was not conveyed well. I'm glad you enjoyed it. -
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it feels authentic to me and that is a good thing love
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I think that this piece has a lot of potential. I like the idea of the [] lines.....I think that some of the lines are very simple, don't just tell me, make me see it, feel ir etc....The structure is great and it flows very nicely
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