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Broken hearts

There was this boy
And then there was me..
Secretly I knew we would never be..

He broke my heart...
Literally apart..

Now I'm sitting here..
Wipeing a tear..


The tears keep falling off my face..
I stop and think.. How did I get to this place..

He'll never know what he could of had..
But you know what.. F*ck him... To bad..

I thought I had found the one..
But with him, Im done..

I loved him once..
I loved him twice..
I wonder why, cause he was never nice..

Stop asking me to stay..
Please... just stay away..

-Erin Lynn

A contest entry

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Comments


  • Nam
    October 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    "Wipeing a tear.." - "Wipeing" would be "Wiping".

    "He'll never know what he could of had.." - "of" would be "have".

    "But you know what.. F*ck him... To bad.." "F*ck" would be "Fuck" (you do not have to use asterisks at this website) and "To" would be "Too".

    "But with him, Im done.." - "Im" would be "I'm".

    "I wonder why, cause he was never nice.." - there should be an apostrophe in front of "cause".

    The ellipses [...] at the end of each line isn't really needed. In between lines, is fine, but, it's not needed at the end of every (or almost every) line. A bit distracting.

    A nice poem that you have written here.


  • Riftkin gold member
    August 23, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    wow the fellings
    of hate and pain
    scream off this poem


  • thorlorn thanatos
    August 11, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is touching. Hold in there!!

    Good luck in the contest

    Ryan


  • Regretlove
    August 10, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is so sad. Very well written. Thank you for entering.