Open your eyes,
See that life is beautiful!
Will you swear to me
No one will cry at my funeral?
I see you there
Hiding the scars on your arms
All I want to know is
Why do you do such harm?
Open your eyes,
See that life is beautiful!
Will you swear to me
No one will cry at my funeral?
I know that life is hard,
But just hold onto it
I know you want to let go,
But please, DON'T DO IT!
Author notes
ok, so I sort of stole the first stanza from Sixx:A.M.'s Life Is Beautiful, hell that song inspired this... along with hold On by Good Charlotte! I didn't actually use the chorus, reworded it... I love that song! I dont' know if it's done or not... I may add more to it... maybe not... I dunno yet... but please, dont' think I stole Sixx:A.M.'s song, cuz I SO didn't!
options 2 and 4...
"PHANTOM OF DESPAIR"
A contest entry
- Time Is Running.... And Yet Here Your Full Of Options by Re-invention.
700 points, ended September 11, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - POEMS AND LYRICS ONLY by crystallynnbradford.
365 points, ended September 18, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Off Me by bruntbeauty.
700 points, ended October 20, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - [Structured Creativity?] OPTIONS by kill the lights.
875 points, ended December 13, 2007, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dynamic Thoughts & Deep Emotions by DragonBlue.
1300 points, ended July 1, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 29 of 29
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B
Life is Beautiful, and you ended it well. It should probably be a little longer, as in, "Why is life so beautiful?" Something descriptive or something of the soul will do. It's as if you are writing to someone that is causing pain to themselves, and may do too much harm and kill themselves. So, what will you say to prevent them from doing that? What will you say that will keep them from hurting themselves? But, as far as you have got on here, it is well written, rhyme scheme flows, and the ending is strong. -
a beautiful, soulful piece. extremely moving
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Way to write!!! You sent out a beautiful message, cause so many young people don't see the meaning to their life. Life is hard, we just have to bravely endure the kicks and enjoy its caresses.
Well done!
Nela
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Thank you for your entry to my contest!
Blessed Be~
)O(
DragonBlue
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this could be a song u do music to, its got a catchy rhyme to it to, but anyway u seem like ur a good writer got any suggestions of wut other of your poems i should read. Keep up the good work.
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amazing...this is wonderful! I enjoyed it greatly!
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young poet
I have cried at mant funerals when young. You are life that is still blooming. enjoy & feel that beauty
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Thoughtful and provocative. Could be the basis for a song sung by the Moody Blues (before your time)and now senior citizens on medicare
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Fab!!
This is a fantastic write, powerful and so full of feeling. Best of luck to you in the contest! -
it's good.
you missed the phrase I asked to put in your AN, but I'll overlook it this once. lol.
good luck. -
WOW!
This one rocks! I like it a lot! Congrats!
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It's a good poem, I especially love that you're begging that person at the end - I've been there before! Good luck in my contest =]
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this is a very very good piece
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I read the rules... I'm going through the process of doing what the rules said to do.
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very good
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Is now... like I said, I was in the process of doing it. lol. look now.
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ok, even though is not one of the songs I placed in the options, you don't necesarily need to use option 2 you cand use death as an option since is speaks of funeral. I am going to allow only yours because it has a doble option. but please read the instructions and post in the author notes what I need. thank you for entering and good luck in the contest!
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Honey, this is very good. A poem is never finished...there is always some tweaking and adding to do...that is what makes your words a living thing...you can always make them grow.
Take care
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i like this-it is a very hopeful poem-did you write it with anyone you know in mind? if you did you should let them read it-it may help more than you know
when i was dealing with my issues just knowing someone didnt want me to do it helped me fight a little harder
good luck
CureMyTragedy♥ -
Lol!
I love how you're so worried that someone is gonna call you on that! A good message, I think you should add to it. -
Uh...
Nice write... *sighs*
You should read my chapters that im writing for my book.
It would be really neat if you could opinionate on them...just go to view all poetry.
You'll know what im talking about -_-. night. -
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thanks. have a great sleep! l8a!
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This could be the note inside an inspirational card you can give to someone. The border picture helps it out a lot. Very motivational.
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A Work of Art!
i really liked this one it's very good it's an amazing wirte it's my favorite one yet :]
*~*bee*~*
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This was indeed a awesome write hun. Thanks so much for sharing it with me. DONT DO IT??and i would cry at your funeral
*sigh*
great job
Tory
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i like it this is like a respect my wishes when i past
a very outstanding job you must be out of writers blockk now oops i dont think you were thats one of the other essence members
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That is a great poem.
I loved it. Woohoo!
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awesome
Beautiful even
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Thanks!
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