She splashes spray upon my toes
tickling them in coy flirtation
then sloshes hints of depth upon my feet
in playful merriment
causing them to sink deeper
into infatuation's shifting sands.
With attentive twinkle
she pours over my wading form
then steals away quickly
seeming to smile
at brief discovery.
She approaches yet again,
but dares closer--
as if some pulling force
has granted boldness to the game;
Rubbing her salts upon my legs
she leaves a scented residue,
tempting me away from her edges
into deeper exploration.
Softest surface breezes
tingle anticipating flesh,
captivating me
with intensifying allure
until I plunge fully
into many waters
allowing her to swallow me--
heaping over in exquisite, flowing rush!
And as I swim in the blissful vast
of passion's sweetest pureness,
marveling,
I can't help feeling
the sea has never truly loved another--
not like this.
Author notes
An experimentation with perspective-written from a male voice rather than my own.
In a list
- 1-Golds • next in list
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- Love Poems • next in list
A contest entry
- A Party For Bel (Celticmoon) Come Help Her Celebrate Her 400th Trophy With an Under The Sea Bash!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! by Cupcrazy.
700 points, ended August 21, 2007, 11 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me heart and soul, give me your poets blood by W B Burkholder.
600 points, ended September 21, 2007, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pre-write Party 5 by DancingRed.
300 points, ended October 9, 2007, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 31 of 31
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Which body of water is this? i must take vacation to visit, to flirt.
You would be very intouch with your mascualine side. I would hate to attempt to try one from a woman's view.
Excellent imagery and personfication.
Joe
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Oh my goodness..
How is you manage always to 'take me there ' I am almost ashamed to admit, but you do!! l.o.l. yeah, very wonderfully sensual..even if you really are talking about the sea from a male's perspective!
I LOVE THIS!
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Changing to the man's view I find this interesting to read. I only wish that love would encompass us as you have depicted in a very thought out poem.
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This poem is perfect. How can I begrudge one of my favorite poems losing to this one?
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I love poetry that can be taken in multiple ways. I thought at first that it was about a man falling for a woman, and then as I delved deeper into it I found myself thinking it was about the sea..and upon that realization it made for much more enjoyable imagery
~ Socky
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Somehow shy and coy, brash and bold all in the same place, a synthesis of understated feelings, even as writen word the sensations seem to overwhelm the admissions...very skillful this voice truly holds the reader, gently happily buoyant like the hands of sea...PK
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i know the ocean is my love too
but you wrote this just like i fel
wonderful
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entrancing
HA! i got it, at first i felt there was something about this piece i was missing. now i got it! is it about the ocean? well it's kind of obvious by the end but i didnt read all the way to the end before i started to re-read it again! I just LOVe this work! the feel that the sea is there only for you. the kind of privledged isolation. very well done!!
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Lovely imagery and personification. However this is longer than twenty lines so it probably won't win here.
Thanks for entering.
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Superb write, very clever!
Wonderfully lovingly personified write!Makes you wonder whether it is actually the sea on which you write or the romance of a much loved woman teasing the bodies senses, for example you use 'she', 'in coy flirtation', 'playful merriment', 'into infatuation's', and 'seems to smile' all could be qualities of the woman teasing playfully, or of the sea and its tides actions pleasuring the body with feet enveloped, pulled in by the sands beneath. The poem continues 'she approaches', 'dares closer', 'rubbing her salts', 'she leaves a scented residue', 'tempting me', and 'deeper exploration', show to me a warmth of pleasure, in a game of love, a courtship almost; whilst it could also be the tide on its way in, enticing the bather deeper still to explor its waves pulled by the currents within. As the poem moves on the reader is made aware of the writers bodily desires with lovely imagery like 'tingle anticipating flesh' and 'intensifying allure'. Whichever the writer writes of, they are 'allowing her', so wants the feelings they have, is enjoying the experience shown with 'passions sweetest pureness' and feeling appears mutual with the words 'never truly loved another not like this'. Superb poet you can feel the love in this well done! -
TS Personification Assignment
I just want to say that you make the sea sound wonderful, so beautiful and loving, but mysterious.
I'll start with this "causing them to sink deeper
into infatuation's shifting sands", this, I guess most reminds me of the first time I was in a relationship, I fall fast, kind of like (haha yeah here we go) quicksand.
Another great personification example is "Softest surface breezes
tingle anticipating flesh,
captivating me
with intensifying allure". As I am on the water constantly, this hits me, the wind is my buddy, and you/the poem just make me feel like I can do anything when the wind is blowing and embracing me in a colder warmth than one I've ever known.
Then a third, well aside from every single verse in this being an example, I'd have to go with "until I plunge fully
into many waters
allowing her to swallow me--", now if we're talking about a women, this might be a little bad, but assuming we're still on the topic of water, it just says to me, take great risks, the worst that can happen is death. As emo as that might sound it is true and I've experienced it a lot, just that if you don't take risks you don't know what life could've been, and it isn't worth it.
Overall really beautiful poem, written perfectly. I know this was all for the assignment, but it was still great reading these, all three amazed me completely.
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Superbly written, a true poet to the very essence of the word. An adorable piece, well done you!
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Well deserving of gold the metaphor is excellent Ten, beautiful rendering thanks for entering
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Thanks so much, WB. Always a true pleasure to have you read my work.
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Any time ten, wonderful, a true joy to read
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Wow, the images that come through my mind as I read this poem are amazing. It is WELL deserving of the trophy it recieved. This was a beautiful poem, with feeling and a masterful grasp of language and the pictures that I imagined are profound. I loved it. In my book it gets 100 applauses, but on AP a measly three. Great write, it was a wonderful read.
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wow! what phenomenal comment. Thank you so very much for your generous words. It really makes me feel good to hear that you really got something out of my piece. 100 thank yous back at ya!
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Wow really beautiful poem, filled with amazing vivid imagery. Lovely
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Wow, when I wanted imagery I expected nothing of this magnitude... what a delightful little find this one has been, I am so glad this has won a gold in a contest, so well deserving, the sea itself is a passion of mine, so reading I can feel the splash in your words.... well done on a brilliant write. If you don't mind I think I am going to bookmark this piece
Karen
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Wow, Karen, thank you so much for your great comment. Bookmarking,huh? I'm so very glad you enjoyed it so much! The sea is such a powerful passionate force, and I really enjoyed identifying with her and thinking about how she could affect this guy. I really appreciate you visiting my work.
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beautifully composed...
such brilliant and vivid images... such a touching metaphor and wonderful use of language!
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Thank you, for your kind words and clappies! I'm so glad you enjoyed the poem and your visit to the sea.
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Yes! This was childhood at the beach on a golden summer afternoon, where the warm beach and cooling ocean competed to out-delight each other on my giggling skin! Beautiful memory to visit. Thanks for taking me along!
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Diane, thank you so much for your comment. I'm glad the piece was able to connect with your own memories of the sea. I love that!
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Yes, and treasured memories, at that! Enjoyed re-reading your piece as much as I did the first time!
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Wow!
What an awesome poem, and well done!
This I'm sure will make her smile.
Keep up the great works, thanks for sharing!
Congrates On The Gold Too!
Peace, Timothy..
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Thanks for your comment,Timothy. I wrote this from the man's perspective, and I, or some other great gal (lol) --the sea or otherwise--would be the "her" you speak of in your comment.
Thanks for visiting my poem, and as always, for your very encouraging words.
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Wow. Brilliant. Great job. I'm speechess.
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Many congrats on the gold with this beautiful write!
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OH WOW! I love the playfulness of this piece. Reminds me much of soft, captivating laugh-filled days at the beach. Thank you! Best of luck to you!
Blessings
Bel
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Beautiful piece, soft and captivating. Wonderful flow and form and outstanding imagery. great write, hugs, Bunny
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