Juggling on the tightrope

Did you see me wave you off, a cold mug of coffee in one hand...

    a desperate tear in the corner of my eye?

You never looked deeper than what I showed you and I blame society and anxiety and neurotic behavior mirrored in the distance of beating hearts and screaming throats.

You are the one that showed me the light, and then dodged the train that thrashed me aside;

you are the one that gave up when the getting was good and forgot to sing to the sparrows.

I threw the novella of my trying in the direction of your soft spot, aching in a way that made me fall into you,

Away from you

Pulling back fast, throttling the life shaking gears, desperate to hug the curve of the ball you tossed absently at the red and white target shaped like an aorta. I know the score, I wrote the rules of ‘nothing that is given freely is worth the taking of it to make others cry’-

And yet there was that one tear