I swim in personal moonbeam madness
Our lamp on Melrose Avenue
Fluorescent follows fingerprints
And I'm stuck dreaming of you
No other way to pass the nights
So why not let our demons play?
Our light on Melrose avenue
Has driven God himself away
To see the world in silhouette
Outside my street lamp shell
Your star-bathed eyes, I loved and feared
Should vindicate this floodlit hell
But demons take a trick to tame
A captured light you couldn't hold
So take your hands and leave our world
Feel along 'till you touch cold
I'll stay, in incandescent hush
So as you leave, tread quietly
I will lay, illuminated
With Melrose Avenue calling me
Author notes
http://portfolio.cfa.arizona.edu:9006/authoring/asset?aid=19910
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Nice. I really like the constant flow of the words. The imagery is quite good. I can definitely see Melrose Avenue
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Lovely... You have an amazing way with prose my dear. I am impressed by the way you were able to make me see what you were seeing when you wrote this beautiful piece.
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Holy shit you are an amazing writer. Your way with words leaves me relatively awestruck. Whenever I find myself hating poetry, you come along and call me back.
The first three lines are disjointed, creating a sort of anti-rhythm that I really like. But as the third line flows into the fourth, a flow is established. Then, each pair of lines for most of the rest of the poem acts as a phrase, carrying readers along. I couldn't stop, really. And, your rhyme...well, it's sublime. (couldn't resist)
You're just basically perfect at words. -
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You're wonderful, as always.
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