last nights fragrance lingered
'til the early call of mourning doves
feathers unfurl my empty room
white and silent;
drifting
down
softly
where love inscribed
the form of us
in the center of my bed
Author notes
Graphic Credit: Ilona Wellman
Mourning Doves are also known as Turtledoves or Carolina Pigeons. They fly south for the winter....I'm from Carolina and my sweetheart went south for a few days...I missed him before he got out of the driveway.
In a list
A contest entry
- glow. by Nicolette.
700 points, ended August 18, 2007, 32 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - "Your Favorite Prewrite" by Virgoan.
500 points, ended September 3, 2007, 103 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - pif - Enter your best quickie pre-write by tara wilson.
1200 points, ended September 20, 2007, 36 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 31 of 31
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Very beautiful, love does leave such an inscription, that never goes away...I have already applauded this, here's a rose for you..lol...
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such a sweet quickie with a lovely flow to it! really beautiful for a short poem
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Masterpiece
Oh my goodness! This is really beautiful. I can see the movement of such wanting and longing. Perfectly created.
My favorite lines:
where love inscribed
the form of us
in the center of my bed
Thanks so much for sharing and entering in my contest. I wish you all the best. Keep writing my friend.
>>>VIRGOAN -
I'm finding that I really enjoy your concision.
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Congrats
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very delicately sensual
a marvel of poetry! beautiful in form and flow and worded in such a soft manner... you have captured the prompt effortlessly and fluidly... an amazing write!
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This is quite a fascinating play on the image of "glow." The reason being that I have the sense the image is largely positive, as entertained by the final stanza. There was a reason the poet recalled love inscribed on a bedsheet - and yet the poem is about waking alone, as if that glow was fleeting, but important. I fluctuate between wondering if this is about loss, from the perspective of a loving memory; an image of the best of a one night stand; or just longing in the morning for someone who has left an imprint (both literally and figuratively) on the poet, but who like the mourning dove's coo is missing now, but not later. I am the romantic, so I choose the third option -- because in the end, the poet is deliberately describing a radiance, and there definitely is a positive sense from the thoughts of immediate fragrance and the act of love-making (it WAS only last night, not last month, that left these thoughts). Plus, I am by nature an optimist
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Definately the 3rd option What a wonderful interpretation.
Thank you.
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forgot these
x
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I so love doves, especially the mourning doves or as we call them here in South Africa "lemoenduifies" which means (directly translated) "orange doves". Such a beautiful soft poem this is...loved the warmth of the bed and the warmth of the love that weaves itself through these lines. Lovely, lovely poetry that just makes itself sit in my eyes. Thank you so much for this feathery entry.
~ Nicolette
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So beautiful! Clean and pretty and just lovely.
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Thank you for the lovely comment
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Ah, yes, this is it my dear.
You have gone and written exactly how I feel.
Beautiful.
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thanks darling.
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Might be time for a new mattress
but Ahhh dont change the sheets....the fragrance and warmth still lingers from last nights heat...such a sweet endearment to dreamy our hearts with this tender write....beautifully expressed
Mal -
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Thanks Mal.
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Yes....sometimes...love still glows in the mind...this is beautiful...and it does glow, especially the feather imagery
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Thanks
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You have a way with words that more than 'glow' sweetie; left a soft gentle impression in my mind. A fuzzy white one.
Excellent, no worries.. you still got it.
I loved the ending.
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Thank you Kathleen!
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This is soft. It's like a dream setting....an emotional vision if that makes any sense.
Like the sighs one gives when they think about their lover. Beautiful
Roses
Raker
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Thank you Raker. What a lovely thing to say
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excellent
this definately has a southern feel, especially with the feathers
reminded me of the feather beds in my youth
but more than that
this is a lingering poem that fills one with what means so much to you and each of us as readers
and yes I hear the doves cooing every morn
as I have coffee on the front porch before work
this is more than imagery
much more
best wishes
peace and hugs
Muddy
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Thank you Muddy. Your comments mean so much.
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the pleasure was all mine and I might add...girl that one is finished
don't touch it
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my guess is, u'll make up that bed with reluctance. quiet romantic nostalgia
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Yes, reluctance indeed. Getting out of it was even harder Thank you Steve. It's good to see you around.
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Ahhhh...how softly this touches the heart of the reader. I adore the first lines. "....last nights fragrance lingered 'til the early call of mourning doves....." They set such a gentle sensual tone, even though the "emptiness" of a loved one gone from your side "aches" throughout this piece. Love the feather metaphor, as well....again, the softness wraps the reader in its warmth. Lovely as it stands. Brava! I've been gone too long, and enjoyed reading you again immensely!
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Thank you so much and it's so good to see you around my pages again. What a lovely comment I was at work earlier when you left this and couldn't stay here long enough to respond so let me say now how much I appreciate such a warm comment.
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I know the feeling all too well. The emotion evoked by the poem goes straight to the heart. The free form falls right in place with the mood it creates. Good luck in the contest.
Sincerely,
Leo Long
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Sighhh...The ending is wonderful. It's a lovely, loving piece now, my Friend. Let me know after you've tweaked it a bit. I'm sure it will glow even brighter when you're done. Good luck in Nic's contest, Sweetie. Wanda
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