Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Ride The Lightning

Who are you to judge me?
I've seen through many eyes
When death comes riding through here
With lightning reflex surprise
For in your eyes there is a legend
Where a tattoo marks your soul
Like a river of molten fury
That is out of your control.

Because the gates of hell are open
And in the shadows beckoning
Is the way to sure-fire damnation
Time has come for a reckoning
Let my snake eyes put you under
Let me saturate your mind
To the madness and the thunder
Hell is waiting for your kind.

So let the dance begin in earnest
Take a step into the dark
Where the ice and madness linger
And your soul is torn apart
Can you feel your skin soon blister
And that itching in your palm
Is the start of something bigger
That will melt your fiery heart.

Step off into the waiting darkness
Where the lightning flashes high
Across this blasted landscape
There is no escape for you and I
Let your self become the undoing
Of every thought you ever lost
For when you ride the lightning
You end up nailed to this fiery cross...

Author notes

Heavy Metal lyrics with a slow driving beat

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • Shantti
    October 1

    Edit | Reply
    I've always been a sucker for some good heavy metal You did awesome with this.
    Thank you for entering my contest


  • Brandan Shamaya
    July 11, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    i'm digging it, thanks for entering

  • piccola silver member
    December 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I see why this captured gold. Great rhyme and visuals. Congrats on the trophy and thanks for entering


  • L.e.l.
    September 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for entering this in my cotest. I'm finally judging (thank you for your patience thus far) and will have results by tomorrow morning.

    -Blue


  • Artistic-Soul
    August 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    it had a good flow and it had good use of rhyme but it was really fast paced there were no pauses you had a period for each section but that was it it flew by before i had time to apreaciate it


  • renizzle
    August 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I like it a lot! It's great! This is my favorite part:
    Because the gates of hell are open
    And in the shadows beckoning
    Is the way to sure-fire damnation
    Time has come for a reckoning

    I don't think rhyme is necessary for this piece though and gets in the way a little. Overall, great work!


  • FlipperSwitch
    August 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Excellent! I feel like I'm damned....scary but probably true anyways so excellent! Thanks for the entry!


  • Heavens Child
    August 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    A very unique write. 'Because the gates of hell are open and in the shadows beckoning Is the way to sure- fire damnation time has come for a reckoning', brilliantly worded. Love it. Thank you for the entry in my contest.


  • free-samples
    August 13, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Intriguing,I enjoyed the rhyme scheme and the flow of it all.


  • Forbidden Tempest
    August 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    WOW!!!!!

    That is perfect, you had three people standing up and cheering at the end. Well done and best of luck in the contest.

1 - 10 of 10