An undetectable wind transports a pheromoned sample of your moist enticements
as it wanders into the twin passages above these lips I will use
to place a gentle kiss upon the outer folds of your gowned beauty
Your aura radiates into my heart and ignites these fierce firey desires
that rise to consume every void in my perceptions of awe and beauty
as you materialize as the earthen image of the goddess of the sun,
empress of my, and of all, life
Like the rushings of millioned sperm toward a single goal
a photon bounced back from you breaks from its pack
and crashes into my retina and explodes
as a trillion more will to evolve into that glow
that glues my focus and absorbs my attention
and sucks my devotion as water does thirst
And blinded, everything within me melts
simply because, there you are, my rose
Author notes
A contest entry
- sun kisses the earth and i hush my urge to cry. by forbidden-colour.
300 points, ended October 8, 2007, 9 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Touch me with your words. by Ho74pp1eP1e.
525 points, ended September 2, 2008, 22 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything You Want :) Enter Please :) by fairytalelovestory.
550 points, ended September 29, 2008, 51 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Romance & Men by JesusFreak92.
550 points, ended December 12, 2008, 17 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - IF I KISS YOU AGAIN I WILL KISS YOU HERE by Swan song.
700 points, ended April 11, 9 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I Wanna Kiss You All Over. by Poetryintheblood.
700 points, ended June 11, 17 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Mirrored Reflections by Midniterose.
700 points, ended August 9, 5 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything and everything by Dryad Enya.
517 points, ended November 10, 231 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Body Image by LesbianOfLove.
510 points, ended November 15, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Sizzling Hot by Fire-Fly.
500 points, ends November 25, 42 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 52 of 52
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A very lovely emotive piece of poetry you have here and very worthy of the amount of trophies you have won.
Your powers of description are finely tuned for sure.
Not quite what I was looking for but lovely nonetheless.
Many thanks for your entry. -
Beautiful imagery and mastered description. Great work here! Thank you for entering my contest and best of luck to you!
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Congratulations on all these trophies; very much deserved as this is just so wonderfully written!
Thank you for sharing and for being part of this contest!
Good luck to you! -
This is amazing. You are very talented!
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Thankyou for your entry and good luck in all the contests.
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This is very good. I love the imagery and love how it envokes a sense to....explore....without being erotic. Your use of language is eloquent and the flow is soft. Very well Done.
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Impressive, this is so sensual and wonderful.
Invokes many sexual feelings which is what I wanted. Amazing
Favorite lines
"as the earthen image of the goddess of the sun,
empress of my, and of all, life"
~Serenity
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Incredible
Amazing vocabulary, awesome imagery, stunning form and flow, smooth and sensual. Thanks for bringing this piece to my contest, it was definitely worth the read! -
Thank you for your entry, good luck in my contest, Josie
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images come into my mind like you wouldn't believe, great wording, i loved it.
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The word beautiful does not do this justice. It melted my heart and made me smile. You are truly a gifted poet. Softly sensual it touched me deeply.
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Wonderfully explosive imagery...interesting take on the prompt! Thank you for the entry.
Az
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wow this was so vivid in vocabulary, but i find sometimes, as with this write, that it can be confusing sometimes. great write though.
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A very interesting and original poem with fresh vocabulary and imagery. Best of luck in my contest, and thanks for entering. (Sorry that I can't give you any clappies, because I only have 2 points left, and the system won't allow it.)
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returning with enough coins for claps
as promised
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beautiful and alluring,
thank you for entering!
I am sorry, I have not enough points for applaud, will return and give some when I have replenished my stock -
finalist in a big way
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Amazing write! Thanks for entering my contest. Best wishes to you
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descriptive and full
a wholesome and satisfying write. extremely sensual and erotic. thank you for entering this little beauty.
I can see it has done well in the past and i am hardly surprised
Emmyb
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This is very beautiful! Thankyou for entering it into my contest and Good Luck!
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Wow.. your words have left me breathless.
This was just truly so beautiful,
and deeply touching. So much emotion
packed within, and gorgeous language.
Loved this..
Thanks for sharing & best of luck -
oh I like very much!!!!!!!!
And blinded, everything within me melts
simply because, there you are, my rose
and a hear melting ending too boot!!
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Truly beautiful
a delight to read and absorb your feelings and emotions
Thank you for your entry and best wishes
Julie
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My first read of your work, and I am stunned by your gifting in imagery, and expressive sensualness....A delight to read!
write for a trophy again...
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Very good poem. Thanks for entering and good luck in the contest. Very descriptive.
Michael -
Wow, what a read...thanks for your entry and good luck to you lots of love...
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huh...that was interesting! I like the vivid detail in it! Good job and good luck in the contest! Thanks for entering my contest!
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Wow that was wonderfully worded
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this is a very sensual write.
Very thought out, and yet randomly beautiful at the same time.
Thank you for entering! -
A most interesting sensual read. I truly enjoyed it! Well done! Thanks for entering my contest. I’m honored that you would show your work here. Keep up the great writing!
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Thank you for your most beautifully sensual entry, good luck in my contest, Josie
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So very beautiful
Thank you for entering my contest.
Delila -
......
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Of course I liked the rose metaphor and images here, and the picture (you knew I would like that, don't you?)
Some nice rich phrasing, images and vocabulary applied here with a subtle sensual undertone. I think you were a bit heavy on the adjectives and perhaps this poem would be poetically stronger if you delete a few adjectives here and there. Also, I see the poem is/was entered in 4 different contests and the rules for this contest state only 2 contests.. I did enjoy reading this though. Thank you for this entry!
~ Nicolette
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This is beautiful, not really what I am looking for but nice and glad to read it none the less.
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Thank you for your beautiful entry, good luck in my contest, Josie
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This was lovely lovely lovely
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Well, I will certainly say, this packs some very interesting and heated images.
Nicely done to the prompt. Thank you for your entry and best of luck in the judging. ~Pamela
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Beautifully penned and definately sensual, I love roses so that made it even better. Thanks for the entry.
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wow, amazing.
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oh this is wow!
So much is just packed into it... it's stuffed to the brim with imagery and description. Magnificent! -
what a captivating last line - works well with theme and really just ends the mood nicely.
Thanks for entering,
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aahh, this reads like what would happen if a biology textbook and some form of Hindu love poetry made a baby. I liked the emotion and it has a really lyrical quality, but as an art major, I can't say as I find photons inherently romantic... Still, I give you props for originality. This piece has definitely intrigued me and I will visit it again. Perhaps after more sleep and less art history..
A couple of your sentences are a little too wordy--it may not even be the words, it could just be a need for commas. Also, you have a typo--"my" I think should be "me." That is all. Excellent work, and good luck in my contest!
--Shannon -
The content is wonderful your details make this write come alive to the reader. Very well done. These lines I love.
Your aura radiates into my heart and ignites these fierce fiery desires that rise to consume every void in my perceptions of awe and beauty as you materialize as the earthen image of the goddess of the sun, empress of my and of all life
I agree with you the rose is an immortal symbol. Very well done. Thank you for entering my contest. Have a great day. -
This is great!
I did find the lines a little long and thought that some much needed punctuation was in order, besides that.
It's a great write
Very attentive to details and to the entire feeling that comes from the poem.
Love
thank you for entering!
x
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Oh My this is stunning
Well written WOW Great Job
Thank you so much for entering my contest
delila
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add to finalist list
makes me drip, the most wonderful rose poem I've ever read although I think it is not too much about a rose as it is about his lover that he adores and cherishes -
NoIQ (proving lawyers lie)
thank you for your comments on my poem YOU AGAIN - I think, since you are from California, where I once lived in Sacramento, you might also enjoy (and understand) my poem CALIFORNIA - http://allpoetry.com/poem/3211932 - a very brief tribute to its mineral, natural and unmatched agricultural treasures of your awesome state -
The style here reminds me of prose poetry, in which the imagery is contained within a stylistically flowing sort of sentence. It's hard to explain, but I hope you are familiar enough with the form to understand why that is a compliment, and where the comparison is coming from. You use a lot of subtle but important sexual references, like "pheromoned", "twin passages above these lips", "folds of your gowned beauty," and "rushings of millioned sperms toward a single goal." It works well with where the glow of the piece finds its source of inspiration. In the end, this is a glow any adult can understand, and appreciate why it ends with thirst being quenched.
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I'm so glad someone used the picture of the rose and used it as metaphor too. This is a lovely poem, filled with tenderness and sensuality - very enjoyable indeed. So good when someone glows because of love and this poem speaks of that effect in all the scents of a rose. Lovely poetry - thank you so much for posting it in my contest.
~ Nicolette
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wow all that~
from a rose...a love poem turned sensual and then excstasy...great read...and gee...Ive no woman to explore this fantasy with at the moment...
I enjoyed this
Mal
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Hello Bill, You have penned such beautiful words of love. Very nice indeed. Thank you for sharing this lovely love poem!! Best of luck Sandy
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