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White Bridges

Everyone knew that the house was haunted.
It’s been like this since grandpa passed away.
Bringing my things I moved in undaunted,
after all, I needed a place to stay.

A happy man, he never left the house;
‘twas grandma’s smile that made him feel so good.
A frisky guy, his hand in grandma’s blouse,
they would play, in the bedroom like they should.

He is obsessed, at night I hear his voice,
he sings to her, through the cracks and ridges.
“Darling, take off your clothes and let’s rejoice.”
“Sweetheart, take out your pearly white bridges.”

That’s the truth, that’s how grandpa died that night,
when her teeth came out, grandpa died of fright.

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

invitation #1 - word prompt: White Bridges

Sonnet

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 20 of 20

  • EvilKate
    August 19, 2007
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    LOL. can't brea th e , commeent l8r


  • Cerulean Sunrise gold member
    August 18, 2007
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    Oh this was great! hehe
    Congrats on the bronze.

  • Cinnarry gold member
    August 12, 2007
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    Very, very whimsical! Such a delight to read.


  • Swan song gold member
    August 12, 2007

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    Oh come on! if her teeth came out he would get frisky in another way. I love this what a pill you are dear!


  • sunny day
    August 11, 2007

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    Amera, I see this is invite only so I will use your name here. OMG you had me laughing at this wonderful sonnet you penned for all of us to behold. The subject, rhythm, rhyme and over all love that went into this one leave me awed. You my very good friend leave your mark on each piece that you write and this was amazing. I am still thinking of those "pearly white bridges" and LMAO. Your poem flowed perfectly and the rhyme came so natural, not a hint of being forced at all. I thank you for always sharing your illustrious pen with us and wish you the best in this contest. Love you my friend, Joyce


    • Amera gold member
      August 11, 2007

      Edit | Reply
      LOL, Thanks Joyce, Lane is such a good friend I just had to give her something she wouldn't expect.



      Love,
      Amera ♥


  • Whispering Wind Moderators member
    August 10, 2007

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    This is just so cute you have out done yourself this time Little Blue Star...never to old to playThank you so much for the laugh and watch out for those teeth


  • HaleyMary
    August 10, 2007

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    lol. The ending was funny. Great sonnet. Has a great flow to it. I liked how the poem began a little sad because the grandfather passed on, but then I read the end and it made me laugh. Good luck in the contest.


  • PerVirtuous
    August 10, 2007

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    It's a sonnet, it's funny, it's well written, and it is 100% true. I think it deserves....


    Three very blind bunnies.(so they don't befall the same fate)


  • captain howdy
    August 10, 2007

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    haha! This one made me laugh out loud. Such a clever and silly sonnet. Made my day. Best of luck to you in your contest!


  • Kissafrog
    August 10, 2007

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    good job

    I really liked this! At first I thought that it was going to be something serious and it actually ended up making me laugh.

    The sonnet has a really nice flow to it...good work!


  • Desire gold member
    August 10, 2007

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    Wow!!

    Go on Sonnet Queen
    You just rocked this boat~ Love the Form
    also the images You have brought forth
    are Powerful!!
    Magnificent piece penned Beautiful
    Love the pearly white bridges

    Best wishes to You in the contest
    Many blessings too
    and much love~ Desire~*~


  • micol
    August 10, 2007

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    FUN! sonnets can be for play. The couplet fits neatly and surprises. the three quatrains develop logically--'you' and the context of the poem; him and his personality; the ghostly presence. And then the resolution.

    Suggestions: Everything in the poem sounds strongly colloquial...except "'twas," which harks back to 19th century poetics. And possibly a comma after "bringing my things," since otherwise the line breaks too strongly.

    Kudos: "Cracks and ridges" fits perfectly in its lines, suggesting both the haunted house and grandpa's voice...and sets up equally perfectly the required phrase "white bridges." Frequently rhymes sound forced when one of them is imposed on a poem; this one doesn't.


  • capricornpoet
    August 10, 2007

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    sweet and funny

    I don't believe you lol, this was so funny, a frisky grandpa lol...we'll you got me guessing..truly
    original and whimsical satire of a tale....
    sweet in a way ,old folk do have old tales ..
    lovely images..inspires living tales.


  • FallingTwilight
    August 10, 2007

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    Cute sonnet. Interesting take on the prompt... very creative. Wonderful piece, good luck in the contest,

    FallenPoeticAngel

  • Bad Bill
    August 10, 2007

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    This cheered me up no end--a quirky and amusing poem which I thoroughly enjoyed reading! A great take on the word prompt.
    Bill

  • Bob Fox
    August 10, 2007
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    lol

    Cute write. I can see them now. Oh my... Where is grandma


  • RedAquarius
    August 10, 2007

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    Slightly twisted humor, very fun to wake up with - made me laugh for first time today! Cute, cute, cute!


  • Mairi bheag gold member
    August 10, 2007

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    {smiling broadly}A beautifully, gently humorous poem, with a rhythm that ripples like a conversation, or a burn over the stones.


  • Lord Dracon
    August 10, 2007

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    Eerie with a bit of humor, I enjoyed reading this, great job in the way you wrote this, thank you for sharing your talent!

1 - 20 of 20