Truly within the depths of this being,
Is a woman, who longs for that of unconditional love.
Middle age woman, a mother of three,
Leaves very little time, to step out and breathe.
My heart loves them tremendously,
Yet, disgusted with who I am, is this where they need to be?
Confused for years it seems, crying,
Wrapped only in the pain I was accustomed to.
I walk daily, questioning the reason on living,
Although I know the answer lays within that of 3 faces.
I have met Satan, face to face, through many heavy trials,
Molestation, abuse, rape, everything but the existence of love.
I had been dirty for years, but no one sees what they don’t want to,
Sinking in the vices of gluttony, I became lost within myself.
Appearance scarred by that of unlimited abuse, even my own,
For devouring in life’s pity, I became the reflection I see.
Myself buried deep within that of a 6 foot hole, not looking out,
I don’t want to, for when I get there, I just want to stay there.
Locked away from pain, sorrow, that of enemies hands, my own.
I am no longer the victim, I am the abuser.
I harm no other but me, I belittle myself, degrade myself,
Turning the fire up, I watch myself burn.
Wasting away alone, scared, damaged, a woman who covers her death,
By a tender smile to her lips, a warm embrace, a few words of love.
I know how to show it, I know how to shine on others,
But when all is finished, they thank me, I smile, then they walk away.
I turn around, walking, to the only place that is called mine, my grave.
Sitting in the pits of darkness, shivering, I wish, for once,
I could be loved for me.
Author notes
contest...
truly the way one is on the inside, as it is easy to conceal the outside.
I am who I am me.
A contest entry
- Tell me something lovely... by shadow cast.
750 points, ended August 11, 2007, 10 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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You are Loved for you, every day, every second, every breath. by me, and by your children and God. what more can you ask for?
Tory, I Love you...Scott
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Again your words are appreciated. Yes indeed, cant ask for much more. If all was sure as it stands.. Thank you so much for reading me, learning me.
Love you too
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awwww this is sad but beautiful.I am sure there will be lots of people knowing you for who you are
I will not let you turn around and walk away onhere
...there has to be more in life..only we haven't found it till now
but maybe some day you will even find that some one special your seeking for...loving you for you, that special woman you are...Tory....
XXJeannette
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You are such a powerful poet and so lovely too! Your poetry amazes me every time i read it. Wow lots of intensity and incorporates aspects of life. I can paint your poetry so vividly! Every word in this poem is extreme.. acute expressions of pain. Meeting satan face to face is a horrendous experience. You are a valued poet. There is days where we forget to give ourselves credit for our efforts rather we blame ourselves for only what went wrong. Your poem is very thoughtful.
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