They're Getting Closer

    When I was younger, darkness was calming. In my current position, it's beyond any scary childhood monster. I can't breathe, and my heart is ready to explode out of my chest from fear and worry. Will I get to see my mother again? What about my girlfriend? I never got a chance to tell her I love her and kiss her goodbye. I don't want to die.
 
    There's no one with me either. I've always been scared of loneliness. I always knew I was going to die alone, but I never dreamed it would be in a slaughterhouse on the north side of Dresden, miles away from my native Berlin
 
    I can hear the bombs roaring all around me, flying down from the sky in a twisted parody of rainfall. When each one hits the ground, I get sucked into my fear, more lost inside myself.
 
    Never wanted to be in this war, you know. It never was my childhood dream to pick up a gun, march into battle, and take some other human being's life. Never wanted to have to watch myself shooting off a fellow soldier's head, to have the memory constantly replaying itself inside my mind.
 
    Sometimes I wonder about what afterwards is going to be like. No, not Heaven or Hell, but survival. What if I live through this? What if I get out of this war ridden city? What happens then? Do I get to go back into battle? Will I be honoured with war medals or swiftly forgotten? There are so many questions and not enough answers.
 
    They're getting closer now, so close.