Scorched in the sin of a choir's silence
Within a broken clock, hours pass in muted rhythm
Swelling red stars are blistering our eyes
Corrupting that which is an interrupted heart
We fall beneath forgotten friends to remember lies
Where rotten apples are laid to rest within their incense
Playing heinous games with the poison teasing it's veins
Taking to battle this intriguing fruit and savoring the malevolence
This is the feeling that keeps our hearts from breathing
The rage that drowns our memories in acidic fortune
An eternal wound that keeps our joy forever bleeding
To see it would be to accept the
Antidote, buried beneath a
Twisting chaos. The Seed
That is the Heart
Of poison
And sin.
Author notes
I can't think of a title...
I wrote this for something for school xD in a response to another poem, something abotu A poison tree maybe? hmmmm good thing it wasn't for a grade
honest opinions pleeeee-is ^-^
Someone help me think of a title?
A contest entry
- Help by DeathlyAngel.
375 points, ended June 6, 2008, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Very good sista but not what i'm looking for sadly but i have enough inspiration but i well keep it in my contest b/c i really enjoyed it
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VERY NICE!!
be-a-utiful first line!!! Or first verse. Both XD
I really liked the whole poem. except maybe the first line of teh second vers.. possibly. Very nice tho!
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whoa...deep. kinda cnvoued, but pretty awesome. i love yor use of language...it's flowing and not dense but not simple.
i like it. muchly
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I'm rather confused, i won't deny it, but i can say with some surety that I agree with what has been said. The only thing that has me completey boggled is your last line, does it mean that the only way to remedy your problem is to accept it?

Beautiful Neph


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this is amazing! so deep and very powerful, i love the shape you have crafted it into. very deep indeed, and great use of vocab. i think the title is great, 'the greatest battle' sums it up completely. a fitting suggestion from the comment below
thanks for sharing
lucy
x-o-x


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dude that is freaking deep
=]
i thinm u shud name it
The Greatest Battle.
bc thats what it is.
=D
or soemthing liek that.ish

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HAY! THIS IS BRILL! I relly like it and i have to say i loved this part *This is the feeling that keeps our hearts from breathing
The rage that drowns our memories in acidic fortune
An eternal wound that keeps our joy forever bleeding* AND *Where rotten apples are laid to rest within their incense
Playing heinous games with the poison teasing it's veins
Taking to battle this intriguing fruit and savoring the malevolence*.
U DONT KNOW3 HOW GOOD THIS IS. Keep going bbz and never give up. lvu.


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i luv the wordings in this. very descriptive!
.. nice poem all in all... u gt lotsa talent
great job
This is the feeling that keeps our hearts from breathing
The rage that drowns our memories in acidic fortune
An eternal wound that keeps our joy forever bleeding


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sometimes through life we each seek those lessons that teach us...
even though those lessons aren't easy to learn....
somehow we still learn them.
Interesting perspective!
Keep penning on one stroke at a time!


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Omg wow Nephy its been awhile since I read your poems and I am glad I read this one. Its so you and its so descriptive. Congrats on the fantastic write


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wow this is awesome nepher btw its me Silky i love the poem its so society keep it up you are a talented writer











