Small towns have big ears,
seven churches offering pot-luck
Sunday dinner,
(We’re all God-fearing here)
and two night-life choices.
(Legion Club or municipal bar)
But no taxi cabs.
“The Boys” at the bar
lament poor Louise
(Larry’s woman, lung cancer, they say.)
One step from being buried beneath
The Catholic church’s fall leaves
tiling cemetery’s last retreat.
Thank heaven she had the chance
to take that trip to Tahiti
with daughter Tanya last summer.
Consolations and commiserations
commence at midnight, but
the designated driver drinks
until death looks a degree
less likely to take him home
than his drooping buddies.
The state becomes non-smoking
on October first.
God knows we don’t want to kill
anyone...
[ s l o w l y ]
Author notes
trista
And yes...I do realize many more people die each year from smoking than from drunk driving.
A contest entry
- stupidity [closes tomorrow morning] by Tangled Angle.
300 points, ended August 9, 2007, 3 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - this contest might get me in trouble by vacant lot.
307 points, ended October 18, 2007, 20 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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I like not only the story in this piece but also the overall theme and messages. Not only that, but there is a feel of a good dose of sarcasm running throughout.
Good write and congrats on silver.
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Uh-oh... I think I might be biased on this one. The place you were describing sounds like a bar/pool lounge around here. It's one of my favorite places, though I can't legally drink there. I can't really find much wrong with this either, and I liked how you slipped 'slowly' in at the end. thanks for your entry and good luck
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A bit of a poser this one is. It probably asks more questions than it answers. I like the uneven form and the way you have with ideas, thank you for the read.
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Very poignant and powerful. Awesome work.
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this is really good i had a tune in my head going so i read it as a song but its a good song too
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What the you are amazing with alliteration. I loved the way you wove characters and the whole parallel judt worked---- yum yum
Good luck
I hope you're not stressing yourself too much
-esha
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Thanks.
Umm...no stress here! 
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That is actually very funny
I am liking you more and more..
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