Here is the rub,
The discontent's autumn
Optic cables flex into our brains,
They twist around the liquid folds,
Pierce our lobes
And we fall in blissfully unaware slumber
Detached, unfeeling,
Yet convinced we're passionate
Flags of one country pasted on cars made in another
And we grovel before the brood of a thousand points of light
Let the imaginary weapons of imaginary enemies
Rain upon me,
Let them infect me with imaginary diseases,
Let them kill me for disagreeing--
They could televise it:
I'm sure people will tune in
I'll be the worst criminal in the history of crime, they'll say
And in infamy I'll find my fame
The only news worth covering is bad
Pessimism sells
And we jump like lemmings into chic conformist poses
As simple to follow as microwave cooking directions
This is our autumn,
Our fall,
And we sleep having had our fill,
Until the next time.
Author notes
Written September 9th, 2003
In a list
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Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Cool. I like the autumn, fall AND it was written in September thing.
I'm so there with you.
We'll make a big deal of things for right now, but then we'll go back to sleep for a while, until somebody Important we see on tv brings it up again.
sigh... -
See, when I read this I said to myself, I said "self", this is what poetry is supposed to be. When I read my poetry I think it's trite and I use simple words, say things plain, have a simple rhyme scheme, and it's all literal, nothing implied, no symbolism. Therefore I always think my poems suck. HAHA. To know that a poet such as yourself said such kind words on my poem, well that makes me want to write another, so thanks
~ Erin Ravenskye -
This one really got to me. Your opening is fantastic, it just sucked me in... so straight-forward, i wanted to know what the rub was :-)
In this line;
"And we fall in blissfully unaware slumber" i kept hearing it differently... not sure why, just my ear i guess... but i heard it as
"And we fall into a blissful unaware slumber"
or
"And we fall into blissful unaware slumber"
(my 2cents, spend as you wish) :-)
I love your imagery, things like;
"discontent's autumn"
"liquid folds"
"imaginary diseases"
"jump like lemmings" to name a few...
Really enjoyed this, impressive work,
~ Wendy
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"Flags of one country pasted on cars made in another" - expresses well the irony of how things work in todays society. Patriotic? To which country? This poem has a powerful message, I enjoyed learning about it. Good write.
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sometimes people become too comfortable in their own settings....
never growing or wanting change....
this is how I see this....
interesting!
Keeps one thinking abit!
I did enjoy!
Keep penning on!
Bill -
Hmm, I wasn't even writing this from a lover's angle, but I can see how it could work. Actually, this is about the fall of a certain empire that I see occurring some time in the future.
That's all I think I'll say about this piece, because-- forgive me-- I think it's better if the reader draws their own conclusions from it.
- El Gio -
Is this one about a guy who is dealing with emotions of love and what not for the first time? Or is that he has lost these feelings and is trying to gain them back? OR! Maybe this guy has found a girl that he really likes and both of them are in love, and he is exslopring the possibilites! Or! He is exsploring his emotions.
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I got a bit lost in your words...first I thought it was about fall..but there are hidden words that say something different...great write, thanks for sharing
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