I bite my lip to keep from repeating to myself that I'm better off without you, planting smudged lipstick stamps on the backs of unknown necks, and nursing my fears with music and a cigarette in a shaking hand. "You better leave those letters sealed." A blond ghost once whispered in my ear, shocking clouds of alcohol intoxicating the air that whipped around her words. Ferris wheels painted against a dark canvas sky, the ride stops and drunk pre-teens stumble out, giggling at the man in the cowboy hat who winks at their chests.
My hair falls out of the clasp that I had violently shoved my strands into after you hadn't called and the phone fell into a puddle of beer. A foot slips up against a wall and strangers' hands brush up against my palms and leave imprints of themselves on my skin. Beads around sticky necks that dirt clings to like flies to a catcher, attracted to the perspiration that feels like cotton candy. She breathed on ink and stuck it to the back of my hand and I walked in, bowing my head down and shoving my wrist at an orange t-shirt.
A whistle against my skirt stings my ears, kaleidescope boys in low pants and stained hats sneer at my indecision, the walking wobble of a girl on edge. They murmur obscenities and I scuttle away, a bottle of water clenched in my hand and spraying the dust with a streak of wet. And I keep thinking that if only you were here to make me feel safe, if only your arms were wrapped around my waist and if only I could feel you again.
A string of thoughts taper through my brain, collapsing on the surface and exhausting into the skin cells tapped against my core. Wet grass and suffixes on a backround of comatose. You had to make me love you didn't you? You had to make me addicted to you, make me crave your fingers and your eyes. Make me want you near me every second, of every single day. You have the talent of a thousand swords and a hundred broken hearts are upon your head. If only I could take you and make you turn around. If only I could make you see the holes from everytime you took a piece of me with your mouth. If only I could make you feel for me, the way I fear I'll always feel for you. Ifonlyifonlyifonlyifonly.
[If only you gave a damn]
Author notes
Experience is the name we give our mistakes,
don't ever think that it's your final one.
Life is defined by the moments we least expect,
by the things that hurt us, and the things that change us.
Let the things that change you, make you, and then move on.
Life is too short to be caught up in the past.
[i wrote that to move on, and i don't think that it worked]
if I kiss you tonight; will you love me tomorrow?
Comments
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Damn girly, the imagery you create is brilliant. You are such a talented writer. I'm jealous, I honestly am. And you never cease to amaze me. You are brilliant, babe. I hope you know that.
ily. ♥
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that was oh soooo describtive and intirely deep as the ocean. i dont know what to say..
you are truley amazing..
when it comes to heart break this has got to be the most precious string of words! i love it soo much i gotta bookmark this.. thank you for sharing hunnie.. that authors notes is wise beyond words.
ily
<3
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wowowwow...
this might be my favorite from you yet!
"I bite my lip to keep from repeating to myself that I'm better off without you, planting smudged lipstick stamps on the backs of unknown necks, and nursing my fears with music and a cigarette in a shaking hand. "You better leave those letters sealed." A blond ghost once whispered in my ear, shocking clouds of alcohol intoxicating the air that whipped around her words. Ferris wheels painted against a dark canvas sky, the ride stops and drunk pre-teens stumble out, giggling at the man in the cowboy hat who winks at their chests."
god.
fucking amazing.
[bookmarked!]
♥
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this was perfect.
the descriptions and images were stunning.
the bit about the ferris wheel was amazing.
actually fuck it, the whole thing was.
the first line was incredible.
This little bit:
"A whistle against my skirt stings my ears, kaleidescope boys in low pants and stained hats sneer at my indecision, the walking wobble of a girl on edge. They murmur obscenities and I scuttle away, a bottle of water clenched in my hand and spraying the dust with a streak of wet. And I keep thinking that if only you were here to make me feel safe, if only your arms were wrapped around my waist and if only I could feel you again."
couldn't have been better.
the whole thing was just... perfect. yeah. i'll stick with that.
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