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Waiting.

.
I waited for my true love to arrive,
I waited for the best years of my life.

I waited patiently as loneliness ate my heart,
I waited understanding and wondered all the time,

I waited for that magic moment that we all call sublime,
I waited growing despondent and that time was running out,

I waited still with patience but time I am aware is not standing still,
I waited with growing trepidation and remorse that my page is running short,

I waited with tears flowing for my fears seem to be unfolding and not too far ahead
I wait accepting God's wish and

.

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • sublimewriter
    August 11, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    and then times stands still.. the worry seems to grow with each passing time of line..

  • Melissa Gayle gold member
    August 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    and what is right!! LOL

    I love when people step out of their comfort zones (just don't ask me to rhyme!)

  • montez gold member
    August 10, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    and WHAT?

    Sorry Bazza, not my cup of tea being a rhyming nut, but thankfully we're not all the same!
    The ending reminds me of The Life of Brian when the crowd is chasing Brian, looking for the answer!
    I'll give you a small clap for ingenuity!
    Luv,
    Robin.


  • Barely Breathing gold member
    August 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This was wonderful. I love how you have written this and how you repeated the word "waited". And the best lines for me were the first two lines. They had such an impact on me. Great write.


  • Mairi bheag gold member
    August 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Excellent work, Bazza. I love to see you experimenting not only with words, but with the shape on the page.


  • suicideQueen
    August 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this poem tugged a little at the "strings of my heart" it gave me goosebumps and made me want to cry a little...
    i liked how the poem got longer and loner
    really kept me "in suspense" really well written


  • Entwining Beauty
    August 9, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    this is just an amazing poem good luck to you in the contest


  • LucyLightning
    August 9, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    wow.

    =]



    just.wow.

    I love all your freaking pieces!!!!!1


  • Dragons Lady
    August 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is marvelous. I love the way you repeated the phrase "I waited.." It was an enjoyable read full of longing. The way you ended it was interesting. Now write the sequel I really hope that God sent you your true love. Good luck in the contest.


  • Clinging-to-Life
    August 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Oh wow...this is so touching. I'm blown away by your words, they captivated me in the most peculiar way. This was wonderful. I only wish it was longer lol but the shortness and how you ended it so suddenly really added to the intensity. Great write here.

1 - 10 of 10