I spread butter
to the edge.
It dribbles down.
Damn gravity
has pushed again.
You cling to
crusted earth.
On
sunny side succumb.
A contest entry
- closes soon by Melissa Gayle.
500 points, ended August 10, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Great little write mate, could be taken a few different ways I think. Well done indeed,
Alex.
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I enjoyed the double take
of this poem. Makes me
want to lick my fingers
and try it again...
Love, Lane
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love the breakfast/life
parallel... sometimes, nothing goes right and it starts off with that first meal of the day gravity seems to be pushing down on us full force from the first attempt to spread butter on toast... best to look at the brighter side of things...
please accept my apologies if I've misinterpreted, but this is how I interpreted, and it spoke to me!
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Of course everyone is entitled to their own interpretation and I like yours... Never really thought of it that way.
I kind of meant it like I am pushing someone right to the edge but not quite over because I know they will fall the rest of the way on their own and succumb without even knowing I was the cause??
But I like yours better. -
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makes complete sense
now that you explain it...
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Witty yes, but I am lost. LOL. Sorry, I admit it. I love the image of clinging to crusted earth though, just great.
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This is good as always very witty I like the last two lines On Sunny side succumb. That is very good
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